There is no such thing as an ‘entry level’ job

So, as an almost graduate (what up, December 2015 grads) who is participating in the all-too-real struggle of finding a job, I can honestly say any company that is searching for “recent grads/entry-level” hirees really need to re-think their standards.

But instead of jabbering on and on about my frustrations, I’ve decided to make a list of the top five most annoying occurrences of job searching that I’ve experienced.

This nonsense about requiring zero to two years of experience for an entry-level job.

First off, what do you mean you require two years of experience to get my first job? Isn’t an entry-level job supposed to give me zero to two years of experience? Yes, I get that you’re supposed to do a stellar internship or whatever, but what about the kids who needed to work full-time over the summer to pay off school loans or save money for study abroad? Second, if you really require two plus years of experience, then make it a mid-level position or don’t be so stringent.

Those super static rejection emails

What, we’re supposed to customize our cover letters and resumes for every single position we apply for and you can’t even manage to change “Dear Applicant” to “Dear Jordan?” Talk about double standards.

Or the ones where they hardcore reject you with the classic, “After reviewing your application, unfortunately the team decided to move forward with other candidates they felt were a better fit at this time”… but why are they a better fit at this time? Does that mean I’ll be seen as a better fit in the future? Give me a sign.

Those companies which come to every career fair, ask you to drop a resume and then shoot them an email, only to get the response

“Hi Jordan, thanks for your resume. Unfortunately, we’re experiencing a hiring freeze at the moment but if you’re still interested in four months [yes, that says four months], feel free to reach out again.”

First off, I can’t even remember to go to the dentist every three months and that’s actually important to my health, so what makes recruiters think I’ll simply remember to email them in four months asking for a job?

Second, what the hell are you doing at a career fair if you aren’t even hiring? Questions that need answers.

When you email recruiters after meeting them at a career fair, only to know they’ve opened the email and never responded

I know what game you’re playing, but, I am definitely not a fan of it. (Yes, I have email tracking because I’m a social media consultant so I track email openings.)

Finally, what is with this five-step application process that seems to be so common these days? First, we have three phone interviews with case questions (for what, exactly, I will never have an idea) only to have one Skype interview and then an in-person?

Whatever happened to the one and done process where you know you were a great fit and they did too without all the extra hurdles? It’s like recruiters are trying to torture us. I will never understand.

So overall, I can honestly say while finding a job is definitely worth all of the struggle and stress in the long run — because well, people need to make money let’s be honest — the process of landing a dream job as a recent graduate has way too many hurdles.

Either your dream job isn’t hiring now or you’ve applied too early or you just get flat out rejected because you don’t have those minimal three years of experience to qualify for that entry-level position.

People always complain we don’t have enough gumption to make it in the real world outside of our phones and technology, but from our perspective, why are you making it so damn hard for us to make an impact? That’s all I want to know.