It’s Friday 13th: Don’t do any of these things today

The infamous day has finally arrived ― it’s Friday the 13th.

While everyone knows this is a notoriously unlucky day, most people aren’t actually aware that Cornell has a few superstitions of its own.

As a first semester freshman, I really didn’t think things could get more unlucky for me ― I’m still trying to figure out how to study for a prelim, I need to scramble to find a nice boy-girl ratio before going out each night and the girl from that one night stand still won’t return my calls.

But today things may get worse.

The Tab has decided to put together some of our favorite Cornell-related superstitions.

If you suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia (and no, I didn’t just fall asleep on my keyboard), then you might want to be extra careful today.

Stay away from black cats

This is a myth I definitely wouldn’t ignore if I was a freshman.

An old Cornell saying goes a little something like this: “If you cross a black cat, you won’t get a bid to a frat.”

Don’t believe this legend? Ask any kid in a frat at Cornell if they walked past any black cats their freshman year on Friday the 13th. I guarantee they didn’t.

Avoid cracks in the ground

While your mothers’ backs probably should be alright, it still isn’t a good idea to be walking on any cracks while on campus.

Anyone who’s taken an exam can attest to this one. If you step on a crack, you fail your next prelim. It’s just a fact.

Don’t spill any salt

This is certainly one you’re gonna wanna follow.

If you plan on going to a dining hall today, definitely be extremely careful when dealing with salt shakers.

They say anyone who spills salt on Friday the 13th will never hook up with their TA.

I’m not a superstitious guy, but I definitely wouldn’t risk this one.

Skip your 1300 classes

At Cornell, it is really bad luck to go to any class numbered 1300.

It is believed that if you attend the class on Friday the 13th, you are destined to fail it.

That means it’s probably best you skip Intro to Bowling today. I’m sure Doug will understand.

Don’t get married

If you’re getting married today, don’t.

Why? Mostly because marriage is an outdated social contract that forces us to trade in our independence for societal acceptance.

Just kidding. Marriage is cool, just don’t do it on Friday the 13th.

Sage Chapel seems like the perfect place to get married, right? Well if you choose to get married today, you’re destined for a huge #WeddingFail.

Maybe you’ll fall while walking down the aisle. Maybe your ex is going to show up sitting front row. Maybe you’ll get left at the alter. Either way, some bad shit is bound to go down.

And legend has it, if you get cold feet, the ghosts A.D. White and Ezra Cornell push you down the aisle. Imagine what would happen today.

Don’t open your umbrella indoors

This is almost as bad as being Indoors Sunglass Guy. There’s just no need for it.

If you do it, you’ll never get off the waitlist for any of the classes you pre-enrolled in. And that sucks.

Go ahead. Open an umbrella inside. Just don’t get mad at us when you’re stuck taking a Freshman Writing Seminar during you’re junior year even though you opted out of those requirements years ago.

Do not drop an Orichalcum Crystal doused in the blood of a first-born lamb into a volcano while chanting Nergal,the name of the supreme deity

Ok, this one is definitely important.

I know this seems harmless, but trust me. This isn’t something you want to test.

If you’ve come across an Orichalcum Crystal recently, definitely don’t douse it in any lamb blood and definitely  don’t drop it into any volcanos.

Legend has it, if you do, then that you’ll never again hear from that girl you had a one night stand with.

(By the way, I looked you up in the Cornell directory, and there are zero Blair Waldorfs attending Cornell. Did you seriously give me a fake name? Just answer my texts.)

Try not to break any glass

This includes shattering your iPhone. Careful when you’re walking back up from Loco tonight.