Every type of person at the voting booth this election
The one who went to the wrong station
Only a handful of hours left until Election Day. For many of us, this is the first time we will cast a ballot. It might also be the first time we cast a ballot.
Some of us are nervous, some of us are excited. Here’s every type of person at the voting booth this election:
The Early Bird
This person has armed themselves with an absentee ballot or early vote since October. While you’re cursing the commute to your nearest polling location, they’re gleefully kicking back and relaxing. They kind of feel like they’re missing out on election day though, and keep asking people if they’ve voted yet.
The Billboard
This person is decked out in ten or twenty pounds of apparel, from hats and tees to flags and flyers. While you’re waiting, have fun explaining you don’t need more buttons. They’ll press their candidate of choice on you, and there’ll be no guessing which on it is. You’ll avoid eye contact with this person at all times.
The lost and confused
Perhaps this is their first time at the booth. Perhaps they’ve only seen ten-second clips of the debates. Either way, they’re a touch disorientated. They’re probably politically uninterested, but their mom told them they have to vote. Last minute they’re googling “Which candidate should I vote for?”, or taking a personality quiz.
The in a hurry
We all get it. It’s rough to have to plan a commute to and back from the booth, plus the time spent waiting and then voting, on top of prior plans. Maybe this person has kittens to rescue or papers to write or jobs to keep—any of this means they’re tapping their foot in line and dashing for the door as soon as they’re done. They leave and rejoin the line three or four times as they decide whether they really have time to vote.
The analyst
This person has been reading every article put through by their preferred media outlets since early 2016, back when most people considered the available candidates total jokes. Now, the Analyst is in their element, backed with statistics and quotes. Watch them dominate the debate, and humiliate people who didn’t really want to talk to people in the first place.
The No-Show
Arguably the worst type of person this election cycle. They’ll come up with some excuse about how a road was blocked, or they had work, or their washing wasn’t ready, or they couldn’t find their pants, but really, deep down, when it comes to it, they just couldn’t be bothered.