Every thought college seniors have when applying for jobs

All college seniors have pulled all-nighters, run for leadership positions on campus, and found ourselves summer internships, but nothing could prepare us for the dismal job search that we now face. Searching and applying for jobs is a full time job in itself. Add on a senior’s course load and the pressure to ace every test and that’s the formula for a stressful semester.  We did everything we were supposed to do, so why does finding a job seem the same as finding a unicorn?

As seniors are looking for jobs online, applying to places all around the country, and waiting anxiously to hear back, here are some thoughts going through their heads.

I’m in my senior year, I have no clue what I want to do with my life

You love to draw, but you majored in Biology. You kind of want to live abroad for a few years, but also have always dreamed of living in New York. You’re not sure if you should go to graduate school or if you should try to jump right into the work force. The inner turmoil is insane. You apply to corporate jobs, Chipotle, Harvard Law School, and the Peace Corps. Let the chips fall where they may.

What do I put in the “skills” section? I don’t know if I have skills

You can touch your tongue to your nose and are an expert at avoiding parking services. You know exactly what time to post an instagram for the maximum amount of likes and can masterfully craft a hilarious caption. Your ability to go out on a Thursday and get to an 8 a.m. class on Friday is nothing short of amazing, but at the end of the day, employers don’t appreciate the years of work you put into developing these skills.

Is there even such thing as an entry level job?

You find the perfect job to apply for, but look in the requirements section and see the words you dread the most: 4+ years experience. What are they willing to give a twenty-two year old graduating from college with a couple past internships? Another internship. Oh, and the internship is unpaid? Perfect, parents love that. You still apply because A) you have nothing to lose, and B) it looks like you need a lot more experience to get any type of job in your field.

You look on another website, find a job that fits what you want to do exactly, and repeat the entire process over again. Entry level jobs have to be a myth.

Maybe I’ll take a gap year and travel

There’s all this pressure to have a career right after college, but all you want to do is eat every type of pasta in Italy and touch an elephant’s trunk in Thailand. The thought of backpacking through life with a few dollars in your pocket is a lot more appealing to you than a cubicle right now.

Should I put Microsoft Excel down as a skill on my resume?

Excel has become a world of wizardry, but you have some skills that a company might care about. You know how to make a table and can create a brightly colored circle graph easily. What makes something a skill anymore? The lines are blurry. If you put it down and they want you to do data analysis once you’re hired, you’ll have to hide in the bathroom all day.

What have I been doing for the past four years?

Why didn’t you run for president of an organization? Why didn’t you learn how to use Photoshop like a pro? Why did you splurge so many times on concert tickets or drinks for the whole table? Why did you switch majors sophomore year? These are the moments when you start to question everything. Looking for jobs quickly turns into an existential crisis, which quickly turns into binge watching The Office for roughly fifteen hours and stuffing your face with cheese balls.

I haven’t heard back yet, does that mean it’s a no?

That application you felt so good about has gone unanswered for months. Well, on to the next it seems. Or do they just have a lot of applications to review right now? Maybe you’ll hear back in the next few weeks. Maybe you won’t. The silent rejection is worse than breaking up via text.

I’m screwed

It’s all over. Woe is life. Pour a glass of wine or five because you don’t have anywhere to be in the morning.