Ridiculous strategies guys use to hit on girls

We’ve all seen guys struggling to pick up girls. Some are so charming and smooth that you don’t even recognize it. Others are…well, not as talented.

Regardless of their effectiveness, it seems like guys will do anything and everything in their attempts to attract the opposite sex.

The fake accent

“After wading through crowds of people outside of a fraternity house my freshman year, I worked my way over to my roommate who was standing next to a fence with two seemingly normal looking guys. The first thing I noticed was the most atrocious fake Australian accent one of the guys was using, and the second thing was the pure excitement and entranced state of my roommate listening to him.

“I was in complete disbelief that my friend actually believed these guys, despite their use of slang from the ’90s. I was so bewildered when she continued to believe them (after) I pointed out their lack of knowledge about their country. As we were leaving, I saw them over in a corner talking to two other girls in British accents and my roommate was heartbroken.”

I recalled this story to my friends a few weeks ago and was shocked when they all admitted to using a fake accent at some point or another to pick up girls. I like a good accent as much as the next girl, but I do wonder if guys realize that they can’t all be studying abroad from England or Australia.

Classic “not as funny as they think they are” puns

“Once, on Valentine’s Day, a huge football player sent me a picture of Nick Saban and said ‘I’m Saban all my love for you.'”

“I was at a premiere for the last Harry Potter movie and some guy comes up to me and proceeds to say: ‘I would love to be your Half-Blood Prince if you show me your Chamber of Secrets.’ I think I was too stunned to respond.”

This was the most common tactic. It’s definitely worth mentioning because these lines show a guy (or maybe his friend) is creative, maybe funny and slightly intelligent enough to make up some line – or he’s really good at navigating the internet.

The ambush

“We were in the basement of the fraternity house at a party, and a kid walked up and just goes: ‘Jane Smith?’ We were all so weirded out and then he reached for his wallet and pulled out my ID that I’d lost three months ago.

“I just said, ‘thanks?’ and he responded with, ‘yeah, so…wanna dance?’ And I said no. Apparently, the kid had been carrying around the ID around in his wallet for three months – instead of just emailing me – so he could ‘give it to me in person.'”

We’re all guilty of Facebook stalking. Everyone does it. But not everyone is this creepy about it.

Blatant lies

There’s never, ever a fish tank or a smaller party upstairs. Ever.

“Once, in high school, my guy friend asked if I wanted to play with the bunny that this girl had at the party we were at. So I was like, ‘sure.’

But that girl’s door was broken, so if you shut it all the way, it locked. So, of course he shut it all the way. When we couldn’t get out, he said: ‘Well…what are we going to do?'”

Overconfidence

There’s a certain level of confidence a guy can exude that makes him more attractive. This isn’t it.

“I was once at a jersey party and a guy came up and moved my hair to look at the jersey I was wearing. He then said, “yeah, that’ll do” and proceeded to grab my hand and try to take me to his room.”

Pure flattery

While this could be slightly concerning for my single ladies out there, here are a few that could give you hope.

“Back in high school, I was a pizza delivery guy. I convinced the girl I wanted to ask to prom to order a pizza and wrote ‘Prom?’ inside the pizza box that I delivered.”

“I don’t really do anything crazy. I just compliment the shit outta them until something happens.”

“I just say ‘you’re pretty’ and hope for the best.”