It’s not easy being Jessica Simpson: The Clemson sophomore with a famous name

Sharing a name with a celebrity is both a blessing and a curse. You never have to worry about someone forgetting your name, but you can’t escape being constantly compared to your famous counterpart.

Life as Jessica Simpson can be a little complicated. While celeb J.Simps is over in Hollywood, I’m here at Clemson desperately trying to explain my namesake. And sometimes that’s a challenge.

The first day of class involves an explanation

For most people, the professor calling your full name off the attendance list on the first day is no big deal. What’s the worst that can possibly happen? You stutter on the word “here?”

For me, the first day of school is always the worst. I sit in my chair, palms sweaty, waiting for the moment my professor calls out “Jessica Simpson?” Immediately, as if on cue, everyone turns and stares. A few girls giggle, and I blush furiously as I wait for the, “Did your parents name you that, like, on purpose?”

For the record, Jessica Simpson did not become well known until a few years after I was born, and my parents did not – for any reason – name me Jessica to be witty. But still, I must answer this question nearly every time I am introduced to someone or have my name read aloud.

Her scandals are now my scandals

When you share a name with a celebrity, things can sometimes get a little awkward. For example, when celeb Jessica Simpson announced she was expecting a baby, my friends were talking about it at school. Turns out a lot of people overheard and took it out of context.

I wondered why people were staring and whispering at me all day. It wasn’t until a friend of mine whispered: “Jess, is it true you’re pregnant?” that things started to clear up.

At first I wondered, “am I getting fat?” But I soon realized the mixup.

It’s assumed we share the same talents

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard: “Wow, your name is Jessica Simpson? Can you sing?” I would have more money than Donald Trump. People somehow rationalize that just because we share the same name, we’re obviously gifted in all the same ways.

Let it be known I am a god-awful singer who couldn’t be trusted anywhere near a choir. My dancing and acting career is also no where close to taking off.

No one takes you seriously

When your name is Jessica Simpson, even small tasks like ordering a pizza over the phone or trying to set up a dinner reservation become an ordeal. Most people give me the whole, “wow, your parents are cruel, huh?” Others just laugh as if I’m kidding, and then sound totally embarrassed when I don’t join in. But the greatest reactions are the people who have had enough of idiot kids pranking their phones and hang up on me all together.

When setting up my power and water for the first time at my new apartment, I wondered why I never received any confirmation for my application. After several calls to the power company, they told me my application had been thrown out – they didn’t think I was being serious.

But there are some perks

via Poshmark

The primary advantage of having a celebrity name is you never have to worry about someone forgetting you. Out of a class of 200 students, I know my professor will remember my name. And if I run for any kind of student office, I know a majority of people will vote for me just because they think my name is funny.

And when buying luggage, all I have to do is buy a Jessica Simpson brand. Bam, it’s already monogrammed.