Everything you could buy with the money from Brown’s tuition hike

We will soon be paying 4% more in tuition in accordance with a new budget for 2016-2017, which raises tuition by $1,952.

The new budget will support the newly released Diversity and Inclusion Action Plan and new faculty diversity positions. It will enhance support for first generation and low-income students, as well as new travel support for international students.

President Paxson supports the increase, saying the budget will assist Brown to become a “fully inclusive social and intellectual environment.”

Though higher education is a worthwhile investment, we couldn’t help but wonder if those $1,952 could be used elsewhere.

What else could we buy with $1,952?  

Using classic research techniques such as random Google inquiries and Amazon searchers, The Tab went to see what other items this money could buy.

 

Fender American Standard Telecaster Natural (WITH Case)

 

 

One cannot undermine the importance of an education in the arts.  We may be walking among the future Mozarts, John Lennons and Jimi Hendrixes, but we’ll never know.

Harry Potter cosplay badges

Calling all Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Slytherins.  Whether we are fighting a soul-feeding, parseltongue-speaking, cloak-wearing opposition, or flying about on gravity-defying cleaning tools, this is a prized possession which we will be denied of in light of the tuition increase.

Hoverboard from Back to the Future, signed by both Christopher Lloyd and Michael J Fox

Flashing backward to the year 2015 (when we were supposed to have hoverboards that actually hover, a means to time travel, holograms everywhere and self-lacing sneakers), we can possess a piece of the iconic movie signed by the main actors themselves.

Unfortunately, Brown has banned the use and possession of hoverboards on campus, so we will be denied both the chance to indulge in limited edition Back to the Future props and the chance to show off our enviable tricks.

Remote Control Maserati Luxury Car for Kids

 

From the ad itself, we already know that this is the “Greatest Gift for Kids !!” and “Great for 3-7 Years Old kids !!!”  But looking past the fact that the car is on the small side and only has enough room for about a quarter of an adult body, we would definitely be the envy of others with this luxurious single-person car.

100 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Plush Toys

Looking for new inspiration to spice up the decor of your dorm room?  For the hefty tag of $1,466, you could be the new owner of not one, but one hundred plush TMNT ninja turtles.  With the leftover five hundred or so dollars, maybe you could even invest in a real-life turtle.

Four Years of Brown University Textbooks, priceless

Need we say more?