An ode to Brown’s athletic mediocrity

“Lackluster.” When asked to describe Brown athletics in one word, my friend Evan said, “lackluster.”

From meager attendance at games to our questionable colors (brown and red aren’t exactly complementary), it does seems like an appropriate word to describe the athletic culture at Brown.

All the Brown fans in the stands

But are we really all that mediocre? Well, historically, yes. Of the 1,831 Ivy League Championships since 1956, Brown has won 121, beating out only Columbia (98). This represents only 6.6% of the championships. Meanwhile, Princeton has won 24.6%.

Dozens of fans came out for a game against University of New Hampshire

Generally, the performance of a school’s football team reflects the the state of athletics as a whole. Brown football went 5-5, the embodiment of mediocrity.

Perhaps one reason for the poor performance is a lack of fan support. For the Brown football team, home games can feel like away games, as the football stadium is over a mile from campus.

If Brown Athletics were a dog they would be this dog

Unfortunately, the dull reputation of athletics at Brown may be concealing some seriously impressive athletic achievement.

Despite average athletic performance, Brown boasts some pretty impressive alumni in the sports world. James Develin (’10) caught a touchdown for the Patriots in the 2015 AFC championship game and went on to win the Super Bowl. Dylan Remick (’12) is a professional soccer player for Seattle Sounders FC. Chris Berman (77′) is an incredibly popular ESPN anchor. Joe Paterno (’50) was the head football coach at Penn State from 1966-2011. Peachy Paterno‘s successor was Bill O’Brien (’92), who now coaches the Houston Texans.

Millions watch the presentation of the Heisman Trophy every year. The Heisman Trophy is awarded to the best college football player each season. Do you know where John Heisman, the man for whom the Hesiman Trophy is named, went to college? You guessed it: Brown.

The most muscular mascot in the Ivy League

The future of Brown athletics is bright. Many of the sports teams at Brown are thriving. The Brown Women’s Basketball team is 12-2 and boasts a 7-0 home record as of early January. Men’s Water Polo finished their season 24-8. Most impressively, Brown Crew is ranked #1 nationally.

We even recently switched to Nike uniforms, which tend to use white, black, or grey as the primary color, and brown as the secondary color. While attractive appearance certainly doesn’t necessarily result in high performance, the adage “Look good, play good” might  be most important to Brown.

So, while Brown may not be the most winningest, or most exciting school athletically, we can be proud of our history and our athletes. Brown students are (hopefully) forever optimistic.

After all, we are first in the Ivy League…alphabetically. Go Bruno.