Why I resent the idea having a college job is only to ‘build character’

There’s a girl in one of my classes who works while attending college. I’ve only spoken to her in the four walls of the classroom, but she’s pretty nice – very well spoken.  

When we have our English major discussions on where we find inspiration, there seems to be a pattern to her topics. When money or privilege is brought up, she often comments about how having a job while attending school keeps her grounded. Her parents tell her she needs to work because it “builds character.”

The first time I wanted to nod in solidarity, until her tone started to shift. Smiles became blank stares, enthusiasm because melancholy. When she says this, it’s almost with a disdain – towards her parents or her part-time boss, I don’t know. But the dirty look is almost always there.

When I got to college, everyone warned of how BC changes people.

They change their bodies, their mindsets. their personalities. I don’t think any of those have changed that much for me, but I do compare myself a lot. I hate comparing myself to other people. My best friend constantly tells me I don’t know everyone’s story, so I can’t just compare and assume things about people.

This is true.

But as for me, when I look at the pretty girl with the strawberry blonde hair, I wonder about the sour look she puts on in class.

When I wake up for work in the morning (much earlier than I’d like to) I don’t think I’m “building character.” I don’t see the snow I shovel as an addition to my morals, nor do I see the people I help at my desks as making me a “better person.” At the end of the week, almost all student employees on campus need to put their hours into the system, so next week a few bucks will be deposited into our account. When I have put my hours into the system, sometimes almost pushing the full-time employment mark, my insides don’t teem with this sense of hard-earned work.

Instead, I see my phone bill actually getting paid at the end of the month. I see birthday presents for my mom, slurpees bought for my sister, and savings for the day I pay for a surrogate for my future husband and my kids. When I pick a 79 cent tomato paste over a $2 organic one, it isn’t because I don’t value my health. The choice is made more so because I would like to afford a plane ticket home for holiday breaks, since no one else is going to pay for it.

The girl in my class is very nice and if she reads this, I hope she knows that I love what she says in class (really, you’re one of my favorite people to listen to).  She’s great. Her comments about literary theories are awesome. Her hair always looks perfect, even if she says she just took a nap before the class. And if she feels her character built at the end of the week, then I’m happy her parents are right.

But I still resent the idea that having a job should come with a disdain. I resent, even more, that they are some moralistic means to an end or something. This could just be me, which is cool and I’ll sit alone in my thoughts like I usually do, but if you’ve read this far you must value some bit of what I think.

So, my opinion is this: not everyone sees having to work during college as a “character building” experience– some people see it as their only option.