How to work out whether your random roommate is crazy or cool

Finding out who your random roommate for the school year can be pretty frightening because suddenly there are so many preferences that come to mind regarding the qualities you want in a roommate. After hearing the horror stories of roommates going crazy with each other or the fairy tale endings of random roommates becoming best friends, there comes a moment when you just hope you can get along with your random roommate and not have any major problems that can add to the stress of school itself.

After having two random roommates myself, I have seen both sides of the situation – a match that did not work out so well, and one in which my roommate became one of my favorite people I have met in college. I am preparing for my third random roommate, so with some experience I figured I would share the top three tips I have for preparing to live with a random roommate.

Valeria Moraga (left) and Mackenzie Swaney (right) start their random roommate bonding on night one by partnering up for a game of beer pong!

Reach Out

When you find out who you will be living with for the upcoming year, do not hesitate in contacting him or her to start communicating. If you are living in the dorms, this is a MUST because you need to determine important things. For example, who’s bringing the mini fridge and who’s bringing the microwave? Will they be involved in Greek Life? Are they the kind of person to stay in or go out? Where are they from (this is important because if they are from Arizona, they are more likely to go home some weekends, giving you the dorm room to yourself!).

For apartment dwellers, reaching out to your random roommate is just as important because there are even more important things at stake – is he or she 21? If not, when is their 21^st birthday? Do they mind having pre-games before hitting the bars, or tailgates before football games? Decorating an apartment is also very important to make it feel like home and not just a place to live in Tucson. Figuring out styles of decorating can also be important here. Additionally, how are you going to deal with plates and bowls and utensils and groceries (i.e., do you each bring your own or do you share everything)?

Note: in my experience, sharing groceries can get tricky, but sharing utensils and the like is a little more reasonable and cost-friendly.

Monique Monroe (left) and Brooke Cappel (right) take a selfie before a night of random roommate bonding.

Roomie Bonding

Having time to truly bond with your roommate is very important in making an effort to have a good relationship with your roommate. Getting to know them outside the four walls of your dorm or apartment can be really effective and ease the anxiety or tension you probably both feel at the beginning of the year. Trust me, it is so much better to make the effort sooner rather than later, otherwise the stress of going home becomes worse and that should be your one “safe place” to go in college. It is also nice to invite your roommate out with your friends so he or she feels included. Plus, they may do the same for you and that is the easiest way to make new friends.

Whether it is a day spent shopping for groceries or new clothes, or a trip to the bookstore to Bursar spirit-wear for the upcoming football season, these are both easy ways of making your roommate feel more comfortable with you. This is also a way to reach out and bond with your roommate if you have yet to had the guts to bring up the partying situation and are not sure if they are the “going out” type or the “stay in” type. On the other hand, if you have had this conversation, maybe a night out together or going to grab a beer or glass of wine is a really good way to get to know your roommate as well. 2 am trips to Highland Market for a Highland Burrito, or going to Taco Bell after hitting Dirtbags are also very efficient ways of learning your roommate’s intoxicated eating habits and is a true bonding experience that will give you guys something to talk and laugh about the next day.

Austin Paciora (left) and Sam Cooper (right) are bonded really well as random roommates their freshman year at the University of Arizona.

Boundaries

As hard and as awkward as the conversations regarding personal boundaries may be for you to have with a person you have just barely met, it is so important to make these clear from day one so as to have an understanding of respect for each other on a more serious roommate level. Girls: is sharing of clothes allowed? Should your roommate ask before borrowing that nice perfume or purse? Guys: can your roommate take some of your protein powder if he runs out? Can he borrow video games and does he need to ask? Both: what are the opinions of your roommate on smoking? What are their feelings on having other people over to the room or apartment? Things like this may seem so irrelevant, but trust me, huge arguments can start over all of these little things that sometimes cross the line of personal space and belongings.

Setting these boundaries does not have to be some big formal meeting, and you do not have to make it seem like you are a parent lecturing a child about wrongs from rights. Just be casual, cordial and reasonable with your requests and respect those of your roommate. Feeling not only acknowledged, but respected, in your own place is so important to making it more comfortable to go home to.

Hopefully these tips help many of you dealing with some of the anxiety of having a random roommate. Keep an open mind – people are different and you will not get along with everyone you meet. That is normal, but that does not mean you have to be mean or rude or disrespectful to your roommate. Furthermore, your roommate does NOT have to be your best friend by any means in which you do absolutely everything together. In fact, you probably will not want to at some points because living with a person and then doing everything with them outside of the “house” can be a little much. Take them in doses, a little can sometimes go a long way!