The 10 commandments of Alabama football

It’s a comfortably crisp and fresh fall afternoon in Tuscaloosa. However, today is Saturday, which means unlike any other day, the streets are packed with cheerful people who create a sea of crimson and white, the whiskey is being poured in excess and the Crimson Tide is on a roll.

Although football is a sport enjoyed by millions of Americans, the way Southerners treat football has been compared to the way they treat religion – with intense but loving dedication. As a student who just finished four years at the University of Alabama, I can confirm this.

Down here, football isn’t the type of sport where you might go to the game. You literally plan your life around it. The thought of game day sends chills up your spine and thinking about past game days feels like an euphoric dream.

Being an Alabama fan comes with many traditions and responsibilities, and since football is basically religion here, I decided to explain the 10 commandments of Alabama football that I think even Bear Bryant himself would approve of.

Thou shall put no other coach above Nick Saban

Anti-Alabama fans sometimes refer to him as “Nick Satan,” but only because they are jealous of how naturally good he is at coaching. Seriously, some people argue he is the greatest coach in NCAA history. THE ENTIRE HISTORY.

Thou shall say ‘Roll tide’ religiously

Agree with something someone says? Roll tide. Just took a shot? Roll tide. Got an A on your biology final? Roll tide to that. “Roll tide” is a beautiful phrase that can and should be said anywhere at anytime.

Thou shall reciprocate ‘Roll tide’

There is no greater feeling than giving a “Roll tide” to someone sporting the symbolic letter A on their clothes. If someone says this to you, it is common courtesy to reciprocate.

Thou shall scream the “Rammer Jammer” chant at the end of every win

And we win a lot, so naturally we sing it a lot. Some people think it’s rude, but for us, it would be rude NOT to chant it.

Thou shall treat other fans with respect

One year my mom and I were talking to a fan from University of Florida who told us he absolutely loved coming to Tuscaloosa because everyone here is so fun and the atmosphere is so inviting. Let’s keep that up.

But it’s still OK for thee to hate Auburn

I know we are not supposed to be hateful, but like, f**k Auburn. What would college football be without rivalries?

Thou shall make at least one trip to Gallettes for a Yellow Hammer

This pineapple-y concoction is well known among Tuscaloosa’s inhabitants. Gallettes is conveniently located next to the stadium, so there is no excuse not to try one. Just be warned, they really do sneak up on you.

Thou shall appreciate houndstooth

Although the houndstooth pattern is questionable clothing attire for some, as tradition, you must appreciate the pattern. I’m loving the guy decked out from head to toe, sippin’ whiskey and coke on the quad. He’s livin’ life.

Thou shall not have an excuse to skip game day

If you are a true fan, you are going out for game day. Don’t have a ticket? You’ll just tailgate and hit some bars. It’s raining? No problem, you’ll get a rain poncho. Hungover? Here’s a beer.

Thou shall always keep a place in your heart for Tuscaloosa

Even though sometimes it smells weird and always having to stop for a train drives me up the wall, Tuscaloosa is a place I am always going to call home. The people you meet and the memories you make in this town will definitely be some you will cherish your entire life. Roll tide.