We tested popular Yale locations for cocaine

And we were kind of disappointed

Here in the Ivy League, our lives can get a little stressful. Some people may resort to certain vices to cope.

The Tab Yale used MMC cocaine wipes – developed by Tri-Tech Forensics – to check out popular locations for cocaine residue. The wipes turn from pink to blue when they come in contact with traces of cocaine. We put on gloves and wiped surfaces all across campus.

We’re more bummed about this than we should be, but it turns out there’s not as much cocaine on campus as you’d think.

Sasha pup

Probably the most touched being on campus, Sasha seemed like a good lead. Some coke user was bound to have pet her, right? Nope. Sasha was clean.

Foot of Nathan Hale

No cocaine found here, but probably years of drunk freshmen urine.

Random graves in the Grove Street Cemetery

Three tests, all negative.

The stacks

No luck here. We checked one book shelf and one student desk on the seventh floor.

Pierson Dining Hall swipe-in counter

Looks like Piersonites aren’t druggies after all. This test showed up negative.

The window looking into the CEID by the 3D printers

Although smudged fingerprints were visible, none of them came from the hand of a coke user.

Durfees

Negative. I guess cocaine doesn’t give Yalies the munchies.

G-Heav buffet line

Still no cocaine.

Window counter at Ashley’s

Negative here too, but at least I got to eat.

My Uber

Nope, but I’m pretty sure that driver gave me one star for testing.

Bench outside Yale Health

Nothing.

We didn’t find cocaine this time around, but keep your eye out, Yalies.

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