All the phases of a night out at UW-Madison
The dirty details on everything that happens between the blurry photos
Getting ready with your girls is almost the most important part of the night. Turn on some throwback jams and get down while you highlight your undereye circles away. You'll be passable for a human in no time! (And it'll only take an hour and a half and 37 products from Sephora)
Now that you've spent the last two perfectly good drinking hours going through your entire closet only to settle on jeans and a nice top and painting your face to look like someone else's, you've gotta catch up. But you can't let all of that work go unnoticed, so snap a couple cheeky photos of your very best "I always look this good" expression and slam a few shots.
You and your squad hurry your cute butts out to the bars. It will take 10 minutes longer than you remember and it will be 10 degrees colder than you expected, because those shots still haven't kicked in.
He'll look at your (obviously fake) ID for a little too long before you'll flirt with him until he waves you and your hot friends in with a smirk like he's doing you a huge favor.
Because you're dumb. And you don't have any concept of how alcohol metabolizes (or you just don't care and you're impatient).
So. Much. Dancing. Because damn girl, you look good. And you've got hips like J-Lo and a voice like Beyonce and you're feeling great. There ain't no stopping you from getting down a little too low and screaming the words to All I Want For Christmas a little too loud considering it's not even Thanksgiving yet.
The barkeep will hate you when you order another round of shots and some fruity bullshit with 5 ingredients 20 minutes from closing time. But you won't notice (or you just won't care).
Arguably the most important part of your night out. You'll grab something with way too many calories and way too much cheese sauce and you'll eat it WAY too fast. But none of this really matters because the time you had with that burrito were the best damn seven minutes of your life and you don't need anything or anyone if you have enough queso.
Time to get your sloppy ass home and to bed. Don't fall asleep in the bushes. Don't fall asleep in the bushes. And most importantly, don't fall asleep in the bushes.