I acted like a stereotypical frat boy for a week and this is what happened

List of things I love: beer and women

As soon as you see the word “frat boy” I’m sure a very distinct image comes to mind. You picture the guys from the movies that chug beer, throw giant parties, and disrespect women. I decided that for a week, I wanted to become one of these stereotypical males… and honestly, I had a blast.

Day 1: Darty szn

As I rolled up to frat row, I felt ready to start my mission. At a darty, I bro-ed out with as many guys as I could find. We discussed our favorite brewskis and sororities with the hottest girls. I took the time to prove that I was a true brother by photobombing hot girls’ Instagram pictures, showing ladies where the bathrooms were, and making sure people were on the list. I spent some time with the aux and decided to play “Closer” to please the crowd… four times. Lastly, I took pictures with some of the boys in OUR home.

After a well deserved nap, I headed out for the night. As soon as it got late enough and I was really feeling myself, I made my attack. We all know frat bros are known for their late night texts.

Day 2: The library feign

After waking up after 1 pm, I rolled out of bed and headed to the library with a large squad of brothers. Proudly wearing our letters, we took over a table and made sure to watch every female that walked by.

Day 3: The classic “fratfit”

No 70 degree day would be complete without whipping out the American flag Chubbies. Paired with a snapback and Vineyard vines shirt, this outfit was straight fire. Surprisingly, I did not receive as many strange looks as I expected, and I even twined with most of the boys that I passed on the street.

I also felt at this point it was time to show my true fratty-ness and invite my friends to my personal frat’s biggest party of the year. Featuring some of the highlights from messages my GroupMes have actually received from frat boys, I created the perfect message to get the ladies to flock.

Day 4: The gym frat bro

Today, I decided to channel my testosterone into my gym outfit, talk about gainz. I wore high socks, long shorts, a cut off that can barely be considered a shirt, a backwards hat, sunglasses (indoors) and finally, unnecessarily large headphones. I found this day to be the most concerning due to the lack of stares I received. It finally happened, I was one of them. Just like a frat bro, I lifted a couple weights, stared uncomfortably long at the attractive women working out, and took some Snapchats flexing. The grind NEVER stops.

Day 5: the “party” look

The most distinct image that comes to my mind when I think of a frat boy is the classic jersey over a sweatshirt. To be honest, I think this look is pretty cool, and I’ve always wanted to give it a try. This was finally my chance. It was all I could have ever imagined and more. As I slipped on the jersey, I could feel the bonds of brotherhood seeping into my bloodstream… until I came across a problem. After walking into class, I started sweating. As I went to remove a layer and cool off, I ran into an obstacle that was almost harder than picking between Ruby or Liquid on a Thursday night: do I take off only the jersey? The sweatshirt AND the jersey? Or just the sweatshirt? I was so unsure that I decided to just suffer the heat instead of possibly ruining not only my name, but the name of my fraternity.

Another big aspect of this day was the idea of “man spreading”- noun: When males sit with their legs as wide open as possible, with no concern to the personal space of those around them. To be honest, it was way more comfortable to sit this way, even though it was at the expense of those around me. Sometimes the most important brother is yourself.

Day 6: The Things I Love

Today, I kept it simple by representing my two favorite things: beer and women. I showed off a sorority on my hat (so that everyone knows I hooked up with a sorority girl) and displayed the frat boy beer of choice on my shirt, Natty Light.

Day 7: The formal day

The scenario I had in my head as I dressed for this day may not be a reality, but I like to think it is and that chivalry is not dead. Basically, I had one invite left for my frat party this weekend, and I was working up the courage to ask my crush from class. So, I went with a pastel button down shirt and a backwards hat to cover up my bed head. This is a lot of effort for a sleepy frat boy at 9 in the morning, so she had to know I meant business.

Although this week was fun, the frat lifestyle is not for me. Shoutout to frat boys everywhere for making it look easy. May your backwards hats, button up shirts, and late night texts never cease to make us ladies swoon.

No frat boys were harmed in the making of this article.

University of Wisconsin