The best and worst Yelp reviews from your favorite UW-Madison restaurants and bars

‘A thick layer of regret wafting through the place’

Today more than ever, people are turning to the ever-so-beloved “yelp” for reviews and opinions. While most of the time reviews tend to align with realistic experiences, sometimes they are a little off (to say it nicely). Here are some of the strangest Yelp reviews for popular Madison locations:

Banzo

I’ll save the suspense – Banzo just became one of my favorite lunch stops in Madison! Wowzers, Shiver My Timbers and Great Googly Moogly this food is FANTASTIC!!! I’ve never tried this food cart before although I have passed it at least 100 times walking to different eating venues. I fancy myself a ‘Falafel Aficionado’ and have eaten a lot of it (I haven’t had anything in Madison that comes close to NYC falafel) and read that a certain sandwich here made a Top 15 to try in Madison. Count me in. – I’ve accepted the mission – Todd G.

Med Caf

Who reads reviews for Med Cafe? Go here and eat their food. Seriously. Go here and eat their food. Now. Take it to the Memorial Union with a book. Or a friend. This is a real restaurant. The food is cheap and delicious. For every time I see someone in a chain restaurant with the same play school aesthetic, I think about how Med Cafe utterly kills it. Their food is so fucking good. If you hang out with someone that would prefer Einstein Bagels over Med Cafe, stop hanging out with that person. That person cheats in Monopoly. That person takes your beer without asking. That person would attempt to steal your girlfriend but can’t because ladies aren’t property. That person will take you to Olive Garden for your birthday. And that person will also be late and regift you a shitty used present. And it’ll be your fault because you knew that person didn’t like Med Cafe.

– Raphael A

Marigold Kitchen

“Don’t believe the hype” — Public Enemy – Merlin C. 

Frans here!! Get the kegs ready 😉

A post shared by @taylorweiss on Mar 3, 2017 at 2:10pm PST

Fried and Fabulous 

Holy Crap! Friend & Fabulous is f’n amazing!  Now I would like to let you know that I have tried their food twice now.  Once absolutely hammered and once totally sober.  Each time was a total A+! The next time I’m feeling devilish I’m going back to Fried & Fabulous! Holla! – Jeremy S.

Dottys

 Dote [doht]  verb (used without object), dot*ed, dot*ing. Also, doat.to bestow or express excessive love or fondness habitually (usually followed by on or upon): They dote on their youngest daughter. – thank you: dictionary.reference.com… Yes. I dote on Dotty’s. More specifically, I dote on the goodness that is Dotty’s Melting Pot burger.Maybe it’s the trifecta of cheddar, swiss, and provolone cheese that I am infatuated with. Maybe it’s the hefty slices of Jones Dairy Farm smoked bacon that I love.But if I really must confess, I know that deep down, it’s the signature, incredibly flavorful, English garlic sauce that I am unable to erase from my memory. The level of delicious already present in this great burger increases five-fold thanks to the mighty powers of this wonderful sauce. The burger is messy, but reasonably so. You’ll be willing to get your hands (and face, and clothing) dirty in order to experience this #1 selling burger love. – Megan H

Short Stack Eatery

Very solid breakfast sandwich with perhaps even more solid griddled potatoes. Cheese and onions with your potatoes are extra, but very worth it. Get your sandwich on the cheese-roll so you can have both cheese inside your sandwich, and inside your bread. Cheeseception. BURGHHHH (inception sound). – Misha T.

is it Thursday yet? #shortstackeatery #thursdaythrusunday

A post shared by madison eats (@madisonomnom) on Aug 2, 2016 at 7:14am PDT

Liquid Nightclub 

If possible I would give this excuse for a club a zero. Worst experience ever. $5 coat check? You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s December!!! How do you expect people to show up at the club in December!!!!!!!!   Plus…. where do they think they are?!! NYC doesn’t even have $5 coat checks.  You ain’t shhh….Dear liquid, you’ll never warrant a $5 coat check especially when your top shelf is Smirnoff. #boybye – Christie H.

 

Chasers

 Chasers, ah where do I begin? Schnorkrls? Highly recommend then, 10/10. Don’t know what a snorkel is? Come to Chasers. Once you purchase you’ll have a great night. Attractive bartenders that will pour booze in your drink until your heart is content. What more can I ask for, amiright? – Connor M.

Your wallets aren't bottomless so our screwdrivers are… & only $10 with the Hooked app till 2!

A post shared by Chasers (@chasersbarandgrille) on Feb 11, 2017 at 10:14am PST

City Bar

First impression: I loved the feeling that I was descending a dark, dank stairway into a speakeasy.  As if I have personal experience with that?!  But I digress.  I really dug the atmosphere: very low-key, with mood lighting and plush leather sofas.  Good beer selection.  Scary-ass bathrooms–not to mention that the stairs leading to them are a total drunk trap. But overall I’m a fan. – Michelle F.

DLUX

What happened????  My beloved deluxe has become de-yucks! I have been going to deluxe regularly since it opened. The burgers WERE big, juicy and delicious. Now they are as thin as McDonalds, skimpy on the toppings and is dry as the Sahara desert. – J.F.

Brunch is a way of life. #phillysteak #bloodymary #cheesytators

A post shared by DLUX (@dluxmadison) on Mar 5, 2017 at 7:57am PST

Double U

What the hell did I walk into?  The love of my life’s friend was in town (whose son goes to UW) and asked her to meet her there.  Slippery floors.  Girls falling down.  Boys taking jager bomb shots and trying not to vomit.  A thick layer of regret wafting through the place.  This is the Double U at 4:00 pm on gameday.  Second floor outdoor patio was nice, as it was a beautiful day but if you want to pump Drake through your soundsystem, it’s best to invest in better speakers.  Never would have thought there could be that much distortion coming through a set of speakers.  But let’s be honest, most were too drunk to notice.  Nevertheless, we came.  We drank.  The people watching was off the hook. -Bobb S.

what day is it?????!!!???! ?

A post shared by The Double U (@theuubar) on Oct 29, 2016 at 1:47pm PDT

Lucille

The waitress was nice, though she inexplicably kept calling my husband Patrick – when she asked if that was his name, he answered “no” and she clearly couldn’t hear him. – Regina V.

Union South

Awwww! Union South?! You are not the Union South of my college days, now are you? So impressed with how much you have grown up with your new renovation. A new and improved bowling alley, multiple pool tables, and a rock-climbing wall? Plenty of bars throughout the joint, several restaurants, and Babcock ice cream right around the corner from the in-house UWCU?! WOWZA! Top that off with a small hotel on the top floors and I was floored! You’ve definitely come a long way from the days when you were just a secondary to Memorial Union and often skipped over. Glad you are finally getting the love you deserve! -Elsa M

pomegranate greek frozen yogurt with a lil side of cute tour guide

A post shared by cass (@cassiedavs) on Mar 27, 2017 at 3:35pm PDT

 

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