All the things UW students tell their parents versus what they really mean
Sometimes we just leave out a few details so the story sounds better. By a few details, I mean the entire story
You make your way home from break to get bombarded with all the question your parents had stored up since you’ve been gone. We’ve all been there. Thus, UW students have gotten pretty good at ‘bending the truth’ to make it sound a little better.
The Tab Wisconsin compiled a list of all the things UW students say to their parents and what it really means to college students:
“I didn’t do great on the midterm, but I talked to some people in the class and they didn’t do well either. The class average was pretty bad too”
I really should have studied more for the exam because I was totally unprepared. Instead, I spent hours watching Netflix. I actually got below the class average, but I don’t want you to think that I’m not motivated. I’ll try to convince myself to do better next time, but odds are I’ll make the same mistake.
“Yeah, I only go out occasionally…for birthdays and special occasions”
I go out every Thursday through Sunday. If a birthday falls outside of that, I’ll go out for that too. The huge hit in my savings is because I’m all for drink deals, but I also need a six dollar mimosa to cure my hangover the next day. I don’t think I can count the amount of times I’ve gone hungover to class.
“No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m really focusing on me right now”
I swipe right on Tinder for at least an hour a day, but nothing has come of it yet. I occasionally hook up with this one guy from the bar, but it’s super casual and I really don’t want to get into that conversation with Dad. As for that picture of me kissing that stranger on State Street, I was six shots deep and he looked IDENTICAL to Lip Gallagher.
“Please buy it, you know I’m a broke college kid”
I choose to spend my money on things I might not really need, but I’m having a great time. Yeah, I got a little wild with my credit card first semester, but sometimes you have to be a little crazy. You’re only a kid once! I won’t be sacrificing anything to change my financial status, so I’m going to rely on you sending me money, OK?
“I rarely skip class”
I’ve systematically determined the days I absolutely have to go to class. I’ve used up all of my allowed absences already. Also, any lecture that took attendance was dropped within the first week, I don’t mess with that. If the slides are posted online, that’s an obvious no-go for me.
“My lectures aren’t THAT big”
I sit in the back corner of a 200 person lecture and don’t listen anyways. I only email my professor questions I have because I’m too scared that he already answered it when I was texting in my group chat
“Yeah, I’m eating pretty healthy and exercising regularly”
This could be true if you define working out as walking from my house to Qdoba, and if drunk Disco Frites count as my daily serving of vegetables.
“Mom, I really missed you”
This one is true. I took advantage of living with you, enjoying your cooking, and trying to explain to you the newest drama. I really do miss you. You rock.
Parents are smarter than we think. They’re starting to catch on to our typical script. It’s time to change it up, or maybe we should just mean what we say.
@Emily_Saliby