Why does every single girl at UW-Madison dress exactly the same?

Ladies, it’s time to face the facts. We’re all pretty basic when it comes to clothes, and sometimes we can’t help but splurge on the latest trends. Whether it be ripped jeans or leather jackets, it’s pretty obvious that all UW-Madison girls dress the same. And yes, we’re all guilty. You may think you’re different, but tell me honestly that you don’t own a single choker necklace or lace-up top in your closet. I dare you.

The fashionable winter look

During the winter months, it is physically impossible to walk down State Street without seeing mobs of girls wearing black (most likely Canada Goose) jackets. Although they’re expensive, it’s worth it to look stylish in the winter and completely indistinguishable from every other girl. More often than not these are paired with Sorel or Timberland boots and a cute beanie. Even in -20 degree weather it’s still necessary for girls to stay trendy.

The very basic frat party look

Fun fact: frat houses are allowed to deny a girl access if she isn’t wearing either a) Adidas sneakers, b) chocker necklaces, or c) a lace up top of some kind. Seriously, these items are a must. You can always find girls rocking the most basic looks at frat parties. What was once a 90s necklace trend is now a staple to every girl’s going-out look. And don’t forget about Adidas sneakers; girls need shoes that are cute and comfortable for when they’re dancing to Closer with the squad.

The slightly classier bar look

When girls go out to a bar, they obviously try to look a little more mature. That means wearing as much black as physically possible. During a night out at Brats or the Red Shed, you can definitely find groups of girls all in ripped black jeans and black leather jackets. No fracket necessary.

The “I’m basically a cheerleader” tailgate look

If you think game day is about watching football, then you seem to be mistaken. All girls know that game day is actually about wearing the cutest Wisco apparel and taking that perfect candid elevated-surface pic. While Badgers go all-out for game day, the look is pretty basic. These outfits include (but are not limited to) an extremely short cheerleader skirt (because we’re basically cheerleaders…right?), badgeralls, or a DIY-cut Wisconsin T-shirt. Let’s not forget the “W” face tattoo to tie the whole outfit together.

The “effortless” class look

Every badger girl has mastered the casual class look. The key is to appear effortlessly put together when in reality taking 20 minutes before class to perfect your hair and makeup. You can usually find most of the girls in your lecture hall sporting Lulu leggings, Nike/Adidas shoes, and a Patagonia or some sort of hoodie. Bonus points if they wear a baseball hat with their sorority letters on it for that “relaxed” and “sporty” vibe (even though they’ve probably never sat through a full game of baseball in their lives).

The “it’s barely above freezing temperature so we’re going out” look

Every girl has a 6th sense: being able to tell when it’s skirt season. The second that the thermometer rises just above freezing, they feel it. And they’re ready with a whole closet full of skirts just waiting to be worn. These are obviously going to be paired with a black top and booties. Some Wisco girls are so ambitious that they’ll sprint to the bar in a skirt when there’s still snow on the ground. Who cares if it means shaving your legs for the first time in months or shivering the entire night?

 

The (obviously) promiscuous Halloween look

Girls are becoming more creative with their Halloween costumes and have incorporated pop-culture references, but you can be assured that they can always find a way to make their costume slutty. Whether it be the typical Harley Quinn outfit or a sexy Ken Bone, they make it look hot. If you’re a fan of the “classic” and more stereotypical girl costumes, though, don’t worry! There will always be an abundance of slutty angels/devils, cats, lifeguards, and risky business costumes at Freak Fest. And yes, a Victoria’s Secret Model robe absolutely counts as a costume.

The frat/srat formal look

Formal szn is just around the corner, and you can bet that every srat girl will be rocking an LBD of some kind. Looking across the dance floor, there will be black dresses as far as the eye can see. It may seem basic, but hey, it’s classy. Anyways, srat girls have to wear the same thing because they’re ~sistas~.

The look for literally any social event ever

When you text the squad group chat asking for outfit advice, the response is automatic: “jeans and a cute top.” That’s practically every girl’s default setting. Whether it be a date with a new guy, a girl’s night out, or a dinner with friends, “jeans and a cute top” will always be the go-to. Always.

While we all like to think that we’re unique, let’s face it: we’re all pretty basic. We’ve all resorted to one of these looks at one point or another. But hey, who really cares about looking the same if we all look hot AF?