We asked UW-Madison if you get hit by a bus if they will pay for tuition
Because at this point I’m willing to jump
It’s a freezing winter day in Madison as you walk briskly back from class. You’re stressed and in a hurry to get home to get a start on your heaps of homework. You routinely question why you’re paying thousands of dollars for tuition just to be overworked and exhausted. Suddenly, a lightbulb pops into your head as you see the 80 whip past W Johnson St. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve fantasized about risking your life in front of a 15-ton vehicle with the hopes of free tuition.
With the stress of college life and fast-approaching midterms, what Badger hasn’t considered throwing themselves in front of a city bus, with the hope of free tuition? There is a popular college myth that getting hit by a bus rewards you with free education for the rest of your college career. With this in mind, we are becoming more daring at crosswalks and busy streets with the dream of getting our college education paid for.
We asked UW-Madison if there was any validity to this famous college myth. The Office of the Registrar, however, didn’t give us any good news.
A refund of tuition is only given if the injury is severe enough that the student can no longer attend classes. John Lucas, a UW spokesperson said, “There is a provision to assist students who experience a major life situation.” This is called the Compassionate Refund Policy and only applies to students who have compelling circumstances to withdraw from the university, such as a life-threatening illness or disabling accident. Basically, your body would be so damaged that you wouldn’t even be able to attend your “free” classes.
Not only this, but the farther into the school year the accident occurs, the less of a refund is warranted. A 30% refund of tuition is offered if the accident occurs during weeks 5-8 and drops to only a 10% refund if the accident occurs after week 13 of the school year. Waiting until the stress of finals week to make your death-defying move isn’t such a good idea after all.
While we might want to put our life on the line for some free tuition, being hit by a bus only leaves you with broken bones and broken dreams. Oh, and a lot of hospital paperwork.
Turns out, there is no easy way to a free college education. If I were you, I’d recommend staying inside of the bus…not under it.