A comprehensive list of the Uber encounters you’ll have at uni

We’ve all had those nights out. You lost your friends at the party, the walk home sounds way too far, and it’s just a little too cold to comfortably make the trek with your heels in your hand– so you call an Uber.

Three minutes later your driver pulls up, and you dive out of the cold and into a strangers car before giving him explicit directions to your place of residence… Regardless of the safety precautions behind the entire interaction, there are a few encounters you are bound to have (and some you’ll probably never experience) in an Uber.

Drinks were had, Ubers were called.

Becca’s erratic driver

“Lord I just took an Uber for the first time in like literally six months, and his car smelled like cheap cigarettes. Then he took a call during the ride, he was distracted and missed our turn so he DROVE OVER THE MEDIAN WITH HIS PHONE IN ONE HAND and was like ‘nah don’t worry we’re fine.'”

Caroline’s driver-falls-in-love

“I left my keys in an Uber after not taking the driver’s number (he was like 65), so I had to contact Uber to track down his car, and he was like ‘if you had actually taken down my number instead of faking, you could have had your keys back easily.’ Finally I convinced him to bring them back, but when I got in the car he said he would only give them to me if I said I loved him and let him drive me for the next month. Obviously reported him, but still, what the fuck?!”

Amanda’s diamond in the rough

“This Uber driver started freestyle rapping about me in the car after asking me my full name and zodiac sign. He claimed he was the greatest Indian rapper alive, demanded my Instagram name and then when I said my phone was dead (classic lol) he had me write it down on the back of a Duane Reade receipt. I gave him a fake handle and asked to be dropped off right there.”

All of this could have been avoided if we had just taken the bus…

Verity’s short nap time

“One time I fell asleep in an Uber after a night out in Manhattan. I lived like a few blocks away, but the driver drove around with me next to him, over the queens bridge and round Brooklyn before dropping me home, and I didn’t know until I saw the trip summary the next day. The Uber still only cost $4.35. Never forget.”

Gigi’s stalk-y encounter

“I was in an Uber and the driver kept asking me questions about the date he was driving me to and the guy it was with. I didn’t want to make the ride awkward, so I kept answering. He was also asking me a lot of other questions and somewhere along I mentioned this bar on campus which is my favorite. When he finally dropped me off, he said ‘if the date doesn’t work out I’m here’ and left (he was like in his 40’s). So nothing happened for a while, but two weeks later I went to the bar I had mentioned, and he was there and he grabbed me and told me he had been coming to that bar almost every night just hoping he’d meet me again. I got security to throw him out eventually.”

No 40-something-year-old Uber stalks here please!

Remi’s scarily relatable close call

“The driver told me that my name meant princess in Arabic (not sure if this is true or not). Then two weeks later he was convicted of being a rapist… I’m lucky to have made it out safe.”

The most remarkable

“It was New Years Eve last year. We requested just a regular UberX but a big black Escalade pulled up. My friends and I got in and we were a little turnt, so we started talking to our driver about music. He says he’s Jadakiss’s cousin and is friends with A$AP Rocky. He shows us his Instagram, and it checks out. We tell him to FaceTime A$AP Rocky AND HE DOES! Then my drunk friend asks him if he knows where to buy weed. So, this driver takes us all the way up to Washington Heights in NYC, tells us to stay in the car, and buys my friend a huge bag of weed without charging her for it. He then rolled a huge spliff while driving us down the Westside Highway and told us about the night A$AP Yams died. It was incredible.”

We’re probably going to need an Uber

Keep your eyes open the next time you order that drunk ride home after bar close– it just may be the most interesting part of your night.