Students tell their stories about coming out
Students share their stories about coming out as gay, bi, or lesbian and how their lives have changed for the better
In the world we live in, it’s hard to feel like you’re anything but “normal”. Even slight differences can make us feel isolated and alone. October 11th marks National Coming Out Day, a day that applauds the LGBTQ community for being brave and embracing the uniqueness in their life. I spoke with quite a few young people about their experience coming out and what their advice would be for anyone who feels discouraged. No matter what you’re sexual preference, you’re never alone! There is always someone out there who will listen, give you advice, or help you through an issue if you need it!
First of all, how old are you?
“I’m 23.” -Betsy
“I’m 23 years old.” -Ross
“21” -Hunter
“21 years-old.” -Jasmine
“21” -Leif
“20” -Brady
Ross is 23 and has been out since he was 18!
How long have you been “out”?
“I’ve been “out” for 8 years.” -Betsy
“I’ve been out for five years now.” -Ross
“I’ve been out since the end of my junior year of high school, or about April 2012.” -Hunter
“I’ve been out to all of my friends since sophomore year of high school and most of my family for about two years.” -Jasmine
Betsy is more confident in herself now than ever and in a super cute relationship!
Who was the hardest person to tell you weren’t straight to?
“My dad, definitely. I was scared of disappointing him.” -Hunter
“My mom was definitely the hardest person to tell. Anyone who knows me knows my mom and I have an incredibly close relationship and coming out was something that put a divide between us for a few years. After a lot of years of sweeping things under the rug and being very distant we finally talked about the very difficult topic and now we are closer than ever.” -Jasmine
“The hardest person was definitely the first person, who was my friend Darby. It wasn’t because of him, but because he was the first. Otherwise, I would say generally speaking it was really hard for me to come out to my guy friends.” -Leif
“My mom is the most accepting, generous, and loving human being I have ever met.” says Jasmine.
Any funny coming out stories?
“I told [my friends] when we got pulled over for speeding. We had some time to kill, and I thought it was an appropriate time to come out.” -Ross
“Already, looking back, I think it’s ridiculous/hilarious I threw a party after I officially came out to everyone.” -Leif
“After telling my friends I got pretty much the same response: ‘Brady, I love you no matter what, but I’ve known you were gay since middle school.” – Brady
How confident would you consider yourself on the topic of coming out?
“I’m very confident in the topic and definitely a person to give advice/listen to those who are struggling.” -Betsy
“I will listen to anyone who needs to talk, even a complete stranger if they need it, and I also like to offer advice.” -Jasmine
“I think I would do a good job listening as well as giving advice, you definitely need to hear what their situation is like.” -Leif
Have you found a good community of friends who support you 100 percent?
“I have the best friends I could ever ask for. I have so many people around me that love and support me, I couldn’t ask for better.” -Hunter
“I have the most supportive friends and family who have never wavered on their loyalty, support, or love for me.” -Jasmine
“I spent a lot of time scrutinizing how each of my friends would react but I had only positive responses. Everyone has been totally supportive and encouraging since I came out.” -Leif
If you could go back in time, what would you tell “closeted” you?
“Be yourself! Who cares?!” -Ross
“I would tell myself to open the damn door and walk out.” -Jasmine
“I would tell him that nothing will change.” -Leif
“I would tell myself not to be afraid” -Betsy
What was your biggest fear of coming out?
“My biggest fear was not being able to go back. I was terrified to identify myself as a lesbian, because I still wasn’t sure what was going on.” -Jasmine
“My biggest fear was that the dynamics among people would change.” -Leif
“My biggest fear was disappointing my family and losing my relationship with them.” -Hunter
“I didn’t want relationships with friends and family to suddenly disappear based on the simple fact I’m gay.” -Brady
Leif was scared that his relationships with friends would change; however, they’re exactly the same!
Any advice for someone considering coming out to friends and family?
“It’s a process. There will be people who love you and stand by you no matter what and people who are not on board.” -Betsy
“Come out on your OWN terms.” -Ross
“[Your family and friends] love you because of the person you are and how you identify in your romantic life does not change a single thing about you as the person they already know” -Jasmine
“I would tell them no matter what people will not think of them any differently. If there are people who would treat them differently then they aren’t worth their time or emotion.” -Leif
“Don’t be scared. You just need to do it in your own time” -Hunter
Jasmine and her girlfriend, Caitlin, are super cute, confident, and happy in their relationship. #goalz
Lastly, if you could describe your life right now in one word or phrase what would it be?
“Lucky” -Hunter
“Bliss” -Jasmine
“Free” -Leif
“Accomplished” -Betsy
“Great” -Ross
“Extraordinary” -Brady
HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!! Remember to accept and care for one another.