Why I’m on a quest for self-love

Self-love: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness

 I remember the days when I was a confident, fiercely independent, secure girl. However, it was years ago, before I really started taking dating seriously. Then, I got into a serious relationship; one that started to strip away my confidence. I was still independent, but at the same time I was experiencing romantic dependency for the first time. After I got out of that relationship, I went straight into a second one, where I was even more dependent, more helpless, and insecurities were stacking up like my movie collection (which is not to be blamed on my partner, but I was going through issues while this relationship was forming).
I’m sure many of you can relate to my dependency. We live in a world where being alone is synonymous with lonely, and that is not how it should be. Fortunately, I’ve come to the realization, I need to start working on regaining my security and confidence, my full independence, and with that, just a general love for myself – something I’ve never truly grasped. We often forget just how important it is to love ourselves, and sometimes loving ourselves is a journey.
how i wish my face always looked

how i wish my face always looked

I decided I need to go on a quest for self-love, and here is how I plan to go about it. I believe these steps will help you embark on your journey to self-love as well.

No dates

To be honest, I actually never go on dates, because I don’t get asked. Therefore, for me this shouldn’t be too hard to follow through with unless some amazingly gorgeous, caring, intelligent man walks my way, and I just absolutely can’t say no (unlikely). If a guy does happen to ask me out on a date, I will simply tell them I’m not dating right now, but to ask me again soon,( assuming I’m interested in them), and I advise you to do the same. It’s important to remember you can’t focus on loving yourself if you are falling for someone else.

More ‘me’ time 

It’s important to spend time alone. Last semester I was only in my room to sleep, I was with friends that often. As amazing as it is to be surrounded by your besties, it gets exhausting when you don’t even having a minute to rest. “Me time” does not only refer to naps, it is also important to spend time with yourself and get to know who you are. “Me” time is a great time to focus on hobbies like reading, art, and writing. It’s also a great idea to learn to do things alone you normally wouldn’t. This will help you become more comfortable and confident with who you are before.

Focus on things you’re passionate about

I have a friend who dedicates her entire life to work and volunteering. When I met her last year, we had all the same interests and both had full intention of pursuing those interests through clubs, volunteer work, etc. She did… and I didn’t. This semester I want to get into those things I love, because I know they will increase my happiness and make me feel like I matter. Learn from my mistakes and get involved with the things you care about.

Just me, myself, and I enjoying some pad thai

So this semester, I start my journey, my quest, my mission, whatever you wanna call it, for self-love. No dates, no flings, no nothing. Girls seek out enough validation from boys. That doesn’t mean calling off guys forever (but let’s be real I’m not in a rush to date again either). It’s important to find happiness that doesn’t come from a relationship. Here’s to being the confident, single chick people ask “how are you still single?” and responding “because I want to be.”
So BRB, it’s time to go defy gravity.
University of Wisconsin