The memoirs of a Badger Tinderella
Beware the encounters that follow the right swipe
The presence of Tinder in the UW social scene is indisputable. Despite the common public feedback claiming that Tinder is “so dumb” or “totally overrated,” it’s safe to bet that deep in the depths of a large majority of smartphones on campus hides the little red and white fire icon that serves as a doorway to countless shameless hours of crafting the perfect profile with just the right balance of biography wording and photo selection that will undoubtedly lead to endless unfortunate and often over-sexualized encounters.
These are the most (un)usual encounters for any regular Badger Tinderella.
The carefully crafted bio
The first step in any match is to get that right swipe. Besides making sure all eight of their abs show in at LEAST one of their photos, many Tinder-fellas take their bios to the next level to assure getting that swipe right approval.
I didn’t know UW offered a major in cuddleology! *right swipe*
The cheesy pick-up lines
After that little *ding* alerting you that “Congrats! You have a new match!”, what better first impression than a cheesy pick-up line?
They range from cute puns…
…to clever tactics.
And irresistible surveys! It’s in the name of science!
The quickly escalated
Some people go for a little different approach to the first impression – some approaches that maybe escalate just a little quicker than was called for.
As was submitted by a fellow Tinderella, I don’t think she loved it
The emoji dominated
Emojis can be a blessing! When strategically paired with the perfect gif just about nothing else can get emotions across as efficiently.
What I’m confused about, though, is what eggplants and peaches have to do with any of this…
I think clearly I’m missing something here…
The over-sexualized
And last, but definitely not least, these exchanges tend to dominate the Tinder scene and can be immediately spotted when the first message features a smirking emoji.
There’s that emoji we’ve all come to know and cringe at!
Or when any and all deterrent efforts are met with exaggerated erotica and unnecessarily detailed dimensions. Yea? 12 inches? Very likely Mr. Johnson.
Weird, I suddenly lost my appetite
It’s no wonder Tinder has gained such a bad rep with encounters like these littering innocent Tinderella’s inboxes so regularly… So take note Tinder-fellas: stick to the date puns!