What it was like to grow up in Asia as an American

When people ask where your parents are from, it’s usually to get a sense of what your whole family is like. If your parents are from California you might lead a different life than someone whose parents are from Maine, or Kentucky.

So when I have to answer this question, it is always interesting to see the reaction. I start off by saying, “Well, my dad is from a small town in Ohio, and my mom grew up in Asia.” Then I just wait and see the information registering on their face, as they think, “Wait, what?”

Not many people grow up in such culture shock, and it really impacted my mom’s life, and subsequently mine.

I asked my mom to answer some questions in order to create a picture of her childhood abroad, which was due to her father’s executive role in Exxon.

What it was like going to school in a foreign country? 

I attended kindergarten in the States (Summit, NJ) and that was my only State-side schooling up until the eight grade. I attended Yokohama International School in Japan from first through seventh grade. We moved back Stateside for my eight grade year (Houston, TX) and only a portion of ninth grade.

Then, we returned to live overseas for my high school years, where I attended the International School of Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. My family was still overseas when I returned to the U.S. for college, and I went to Hong Kong for all the major school holidays.

All my overseas schools were International schools (with primarily American curriculum), but the teachers were from all over the world. The student body was extremely diverse as well – representing many, many countries. The classes were all taught in English.

 

It was quite “normal” as far as we were concerned. We had similar sports as U.S. schools – from basketball, field hockey, swimming etc. Although it may seem strange to students in the U.S. to learn that instead of competing against other local schools – we played sports against other international schools in other COUNTRIES! We would take a train to Singapore or fly to Thailand when competing in sports against other schools, as an example.

We had theater, cheerleading, a yearbook staff and most of the ordinary activities that kids experience in the U.S. We didn’t take U.S. history – and one funny story my parents still tease me about is, on our first trip to see the White House in DC – I was around seven – and upon seeing the White House I asked aloud in the tour group if this is where the Emperor lived. I was living in Japan at the time and knew more about Japanese government/history than of my own country!

Another unique tidbit about my high school years was that the International School of Kuala Lumpur was actually housed in an old Sultan’s Palace (the Sultan was the King of Malaysia). And because there was no air conditioning and Malaysia is in the tropics  – school let out at 12:30 PM each day as it was too hot to be in the palace in the afternoon.

We still managed to get in the appropriate required hours (we started very early).

Did you ever have a sense of what was going on in the U.S. at the same time period? (Civil Rights, the Cold War)

As far as what was going on in the U.S. during that time when we lived in Japan and Malaysia – it wasn’t like today with instantaneous social media queuing you into world events 24/7. And frankly, the U.S. wasn’t the epicenter of our world when abroad – you were really more immersed in what was occurring in the country you were living in. I grew up with television, my TV shows were Japanese shows IN Japanese (with English subtitles).

The good news about that is you learned the language fairly readily (especially as a young child). We had to take Japanese as a language in our school in Japan.  The other refreshing thing (at least I see it this way as an adult) is that when we lived in Japan it was still very “Japanese” without the “Western influence” that is so prevalent in most countries these days. We didn’t have McDonald’s or any “American” or western restaurants, products, stores etc.

I guess from a child’s view one negative was we couldn’t get American candy when we went “trick-or-treating” on Halloween (not celebrated by the locals of course). So we use to go trick-or-treat on the US military bases so we could get American candy.

What the living situation was in each of these places?

We were very fortunate to live overseas working for Exxon, as Exxon took very good care of its employees and their families. They provided housing for us (in all the countries we lived in), a company car and driver, housekeepers, gardeners, and we even had security guards at our house in Malaysia!

Due to security issues and potential lawsuits against Exxon – they didn’t allow my father to drive a car – he had to be “driven” by a company driver in a company car. It might be perceived as a wealth status here in the U.S., but it was very “normal” for most expats  living in the Far East to have drivers, housekeepers, cook, gardeners etc.

We felt we lived very normally and celebrated all the same holidays we did in the States – with the added value of celebrating (and learning) about many local holidays/traditions of the Japanese, Malaysian and Chinese people.

The one thing we lacked was the level of medical care living overseas during that time. We waited until our “home leave” (coming back to the States every summer) to get our eyes checked, dentist visits, and general medical check-ups. We joked that you waited to get sick until you were back in the U.S. as the local hospitals were not nearly up to our standards in the U.S.

My Dad actually contracted Dengue fever in Malaysia (through the bite of a mosquito) that was discovered while he was flying back to the U.S. for meetings. They whisked him from the airport and put him in quarantine in the Houston hospital, as Dengue fever was not known in the U.S.

What has growing up abroad instilled in you about traveling and the importance of seeing the world and experiencing other cultures?

No “book” knowledge of the world can replace knowledge of the world learned through actually “living” it – in its broadest sense.  I think it definitely expanded our horizons and gave us a much keener view and understanding of the world and all its cultures.

Also, because we attended school with people from all over the world in an “international school” setting – it gave us more tolerance of people that were “not American.” Living abroad gives you a better picture of a non-homogenous community. You embrace the differences.

 

How that has translated into you taking your family on trips around the world?

With my child growing up in the same neighborhood and attending school with a lot of the same kids from first grade through 12th – it was very important to me to try to “expose” her to traveling abroad. She started at age four attending a high school reunion with us in Vancouver, Canada, to traveling to a few countries in Europe throughout the years, and being encouraged to do a mission trip with her high school to a third world country.

Another advantage to living abroad was the fact it allowed us to travel to many other countries. My father was granted a one to two month “home-leave” vacation each summer – and typically on our way “home” to the US we would travel through many countries both to and from.

Do you still keep in touch with friends from your overseas days?

Fifty years later, I am still very close to many friends I met living in all the Asian countries I lived in. It’s more than just staying on each others’ Christmas card list: we actually visit one another, have attended weddings and have frequent reunions.

Even though I went to high school in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, we have a “school-wide” reunion every five years for anyone who went to ISKL in different parts of the U.S. Many of us are from the States – but many come all the way from Australia, Japan or Europe. Several of us would even win the prize for “traveled the farthest” at our school reunion!

So as you read, my mom living abroad has impacted our family in unimaginable ways. You can see relics of her childhood in the antique Asian furnishings around our house. In my lifetime, I have already traveled to seven countries, (eight this summer), and I’m only 20 years old.

My mom has instilled a wanderlust in me, and has pushed me to want to see and explore the world, and I hope to see much more of it in my lifetime.