‘You’re the whitest Asian I’ve ever met’: The problem with microaggressions

When we think “racism,” we often think overt, blatant acts of racially motivated hatred.

We think direct and deliberate forms of racial insensitivity such as the open use of racial slurs.

There are countless people who believe the presence of racism in everyday life has decreased and even disappeared entirely since the changes made during the Civil Rights Movement.

But, despite what most would like to think, racism is still very much part of our daily lives. It just often takes on a more subtle and seemingly innocuous form.

Blatant, more obvious forms of racism are arguably easier to pinpoint and condemn because they aren’t socially acceptable. On the other hand, microaggressions are less blatant and less obvious, allowing attitudes and behaviors rooted in racial prejudice to casually slip into everyday conversations.

Microaggressions are, simply put, a form of implicit stereotyping. They can be just as detrimental long-term as more overt, direct forms of racism. Due to their commonplace and accepted nature, they can have negative long-term impacts on the targeted person or group of people.

There has been a lot of discussion on campus recently surrounding microaggressions. Some have suggested the ‘concept’ of microaggressions allows students of color to overreact to minor insults they should instead ignore.

However, the seeming insignificance is actually part of what makes microaggressions so dangerous. Because they are so brief and pervasive in daily interactions, they are usually missed or glossed over, even by the targeted person or group. This can prove to be incredibly psychologically damaging in the long run as the racial stereotypes they perpetuate become ingrained without their validity being questioned.

In my own experience, the danger of microaggressions stems from an all-around lack of awareness. Even the most well-intentioned white Americans can say the most polarizing things because they are unaware that some of their attitudes are ultimately detrimental towards people of color.

Here are some of the most common microaggressions I’ve noticed on campus:

“But aren’t you supposed to be good at math…?”

Why? Does the fact that I’m bad at math make me any less of a member of my minority? Does it make you uncomfortable that I go against your construct of what it is to be Asian, and consequently “smart?”

“Can I touch your hair?”

Yes, her natural hair has a volume and texture that is different from yours. No, it’s not okay for you to stroke, feel, or poke it. She is neither your doll nor your pet.

“What’s on the menu today? Pomeranian? Greyhound?”

Sure, the jokes about my dog-filled diet were funny the first few times, but when you make those jokes now, all I hear is “just because you’re Asian, I’m going to prescribe you with a cultural stereotype that may or may not actually pertain to your respective culture. Never mind the fact that eating dog is a legitimate custom in certain cultures, I’m going to simultaneously invalidate the cultures that do eat dog and those that don’t by lumping them together.”

“But like, where are you originally from?”

Sorry that my answer of, “I was born and raised in Chicago,” wasn’t good enough for you.

“You’re the whitest Asian I’ve ever met.”

By saying this, the conversation is brought back to white people. Forget the fact that I am not white and have no wish to be; why is it white people are used as a baseline? Why is it that the only way you are able to define me is by the standards of white people? Is it the way I talk? Is it the way I dress?

What about me diminishes the value of my own culture so much that you have to fit me into yours?

Microaggressions are not only present in issues of race.

They present themselves in instances of disabilities, gender, and sexual orientation.

“You’re so lucky you get to take a dog with you to class.”

Is it really lucky that they require the assistance of a seeing-eye-dog to navigate their way around campus because they can’t do so themselves?

“Calm down. Are you, like, on your period or something?”

Are women not allowed to get mad? Are women not allowed to be pissed? Does a woman’s anger always have to be attributed to her natural, unavoidable bodily function?

God forbid women have legitimate reasons to be upset.

“No homo.”

We’re aware that you are straight. You have nothing to prove by asserting your heterosexuality at the expense of those who don’t share your sexual orientation.

Hyper-awareness is key. Microaggressions perpetuate racial insensitivity and make it difficult for people just to be themselves, rather than having to be purely defined by their race or even the races of others. The more commonplace the message, the more detrimental in the long run.

Perhaps the scariest aspect of microaggressions is the ease with which they can be missed. Whether intentional or inadvertent, microaggressions need to be acknowledged. They reinforce the notion that minorities do not belong. They remind people of color on the daily that they are outsiders. They plant seeds of doubt in our heads and lead us to believe that despite our efforts to assimilate, we will still never have a place in society.

This is by no means a condemnation. It is a wake-up call. It is a reminder that even our best efforts have not rid the world of prejudice. Maybe microaggressions are harder to eliminate than obvious acts of racism because they are inherently based in racial prejudice and firmly ingrained in even the kindest of intentions. That, however, does not mean they aren’t as present and pervasive as they are.

Change is not something that happens overnight, but gradual awareness and constant sensitivity can ultimately lead to the change we need in the world.