I pranked our new VSG Vice President every day for a week

Some wise person once said that laughter is the best medicine for anything and everything in life. I took this sentiment to heart and in honor of April Fool’s Day 2k16, I decided to pull a few light-hearted pranks on my friend – one prank a day for the entire week of this joyous holiday of myre, because one day is never enough to act like an idiot.

My chosen target? Our newly elected VSG Vice President, Taylor Gutierrez.

Donning my all black attire and speakers to play the James Bond theme song, I was ready to lurk beneath the cover of nightfall. I advise all those who plan to prank friends to make sure you are ready to look and feel like a child. It’s great. Probably added 5 years to my life.

Also, make sure you know the line. You don’t want to send your friends into an existential crisis – just a quarter life crisis. Keep it friendly pranking.

Day 1: Eye contact prank

You have to start simple. You don’t want to raise suspicion and it’s nice to have somewhere to go in terms of your trickery. I wanted him to feel slightly uncomfortable with me, but in a way that he couldn’t trace back to me. Therefore, I insisted on hanging out a lot that first day but I made sure to never look him in the eyes. Instead I looked at the top of his head but kept all conversation and interactions normal otherwise.

He once asked why I was looking at his hair, but I pled innocent and dumb. The fool was uneasy, but didn’t know what was to come.

The perfect starting prank.

Day 2: Smirnoff Ice all over errthang 

This is a favorite, Vanderbilt pastime when it comes to pranking. Smirnoff Ices are basically soda, and there is an unspoken rule that if you happen upon one in your things, you must immediately take a knee and chug it in its entirety.

Helpful hint: these come in a 6 pack. Therefore, for good measure I made sure to hide all six in his things.

The trick is to hide the Ice where you know your friend will find it, but it can’t be out in the open because where’s the fun in that? The carbonation sucks more than anything in this prank. Be sure to have someone there when they find the Ice too so that you make sure they actually drink it.

He was not pleased he had to drink Ices between his shower and his bed. Just a little goodnight sendoff.

Day 3: Turn their bed into a baby burrito

I have never felt as idiotic as I did completing this prank. Yes, I lifted his entire mattress and used a whole roll of saran wrap to coat over and around the entirety of his bedding. Yes, it took 3 people to complete the task. The foiled pillows were just an added chuckle because they look like little burritos. Baby burritos.

This will soften the blow of another prank. Kitchen supplies are easy to come by and this is so bizarre of an idea, you’ll feel pretty clever even though I’m giving you the idea currently. Be sure to really pull that wrapping tight to keep the bed fresh. I heard him quietly cutting the wrap off in the pitch black after mumbling “just, why?”

Got em’.

Day 4: Sticky note wallpaper 

A classic. The more colors of the post it notes, the better.

To stay respectful and make the prank even funnier, don’t move any of their stuff. Hit the walls and large, open surfaces first before moving to more and more obscure locations (see the open drawer side and the minimal desktop).

As long as you make sure to recycle all the notes afterwards – don’t be destroy the Earth at the cost of your prank – this is sure to brighten their day. For an added bonus, throw some notes in places they won’t find for awhile.

I have a feeling his walls will stay colored for the foreseeable future.

Day 5: Please still love me

Give em a hug and reassure them you only prank out of the utmost love and adoration. Who else would you procrastinate to such lengths for?

That’s right – the Vandy VP was a great sport.

But remember – trust no one and nothing.