‘Nasty Nashville’: Tinder in Tennessee
Sun’s out guns out
Tinder in Tennessee is a melting pot of cowboy boots, pick-up trucks and dead animals. Whilst Vanderbilt does throw some fresh-faced, preppy Northerners into the mix, and Belmont’s student body fulfills the hipster quota for the entire state, the best profiles are those belonging to Nashville natives. Despite probably living pretty urban lives in the city, these bad boys are truly country at heart.
Whether it’s the bloodstained clothes, the severed head of a deer or the smile curling on Dakota’s lips at he clenches the dead beast’s antler victoriously, something about this photo harks back to days of yore. Maybe posing with the animal you just killed was deemed attractive back in the day but, in 2016? He owns a pretty nice farm though. Swipe right.
Nothing like a dead animal to really get you in the mood
The use of grayscale here makes it clear that Justin is not your typical Tennessee hunter, he wants his dead birds to look artsy.
If we assume he’s the central figure, his sombre countenance is tempered by the smirks of his friends. Maybe they know they’re posing for his Tinder profile.
#notamodel
It’s so comforting to see an animal that isn’t dead, we can almost overlook how creepy this photo is. Almost.
Even the cat is creepy
Just a man and his dog! Living life! Yay for living animals! And supplying tractors! This is what the South’s all about.
The fact that this is the best kind of profile you can hope for in TN is terrifying
On first look, this seems like a clear cut case of a wannabe country star. Our boy Ryan wants to be the next Luke Bryan.
The rock and roll hand gesture, the baseball cap so easily discarded, it all points to his search for Southern superstardom. But on second glance, a more startling truth reveals itself.
This isn’t a smile but a grimace! Someone made him pose for this photo in the shop! His buddies? His girlfriend? His mom? Either way he can’t deny it came out great and is really gonna pull in those country gals on Tinder. A for effort.
All that’s missing is cowboy boots
Mass shootings be damned, Samuel doesn’t want gun control. He needs his second amendment right to be upheld so that he can pose in front of some pretty average foliage and appear mildly threatening.
Does this picture truly embody the ‘Nasty Nashville’ he references in his bio? Perhaps.
Nothing quite says “wanna hook-up” like the barrel of a gun, amirite LADIES?!
A centaur in reverse or a weird prelude to Equus, either way this is unsettling.
That Matt prefers his animals alive though, has to be considered a blessing. Anyone who doesn’t take themselves completely seriously on Tinder in Tennessee is deserving of an immediate green card. Swipe right.
Potential LinkedIn headshot?
Let’s just hope there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Is Tinder this terrible in Florida?