You know you’re a Blair student when

The students at the Blair School of Music are famous for their talent and dedication to their craft. They are also famous for being completely isolated from the rest of Vanderbilt’s campus and generating a viral video called Texts From A Beta. You may have heard of it. But that’s not all that makes us so freakin’ special.

You mangle the English language

Every word in your vocabulary starts with the letters “Bl…”. I’m not completely sure why we’ve developed our own language at Blair.

I guess when a group of people has been separated off from society for long enough, these things tend to happen.

 

You’re proud of your hickeys

About half of Blair students walk around with hickeys on their necks. At least 80% of those hickeys, however, come from the chin rest of a viola or violin, not a late-night hookup.

Luckily, we don’t shame anyone for their hickeys at Blair. In fact, the more red and infected, the better! If you’ve got some really gnarly ones that you’re tired of hiding, head on over to Blair and I promise no one will look at you twice.

You adore practicing

Your idea of having a good time is by doing anything but practicing. If you can find a way to avoid practicing, do it. Already washed all of your clothes yesterday? Wash them again. Got a paper-cut on your left pinky from last week? That certainly means no practicing for you.

 

 

 

Your selfie game is less than strong

All of your selfies are mirror selfies with your instrument. And all of them are taken in a poorly-lit practice room.

Most of my Blair friends whom I’ve mentioned this to deny ever having taken a practice room selfie such as the one I’ve shamelessly included below. I choose to believe that they are all liars.

What better way is there to show all of your friends how much fun you’re having?

Every meal is exactly the same

All of your meals come from either Suzie’s, Grins, or Rocket Subs. The recent addition of Rocket Subs to the meal plan has single-handedly kept Blair musicians from passing out from low blood sugar on numerous occasions. God bless Rocket Subs. And I can’t really complain about Grins because their food is delicious.

I’d take a Superfood Wrap over Suzie’s day-old sushi and Pringles any day! Grins’ lines are long and it’s always annoying having to walk a half-mile to get a glorified salad, but that hip vegetarian vibe always seems to make up for it.

Your lifestyle is entirely sedentary

Going to the gym is a foreign concept to you, even though it’s conveniently located about 10 yards from Blair. I always thought that shivering in a dark practice room for three hours while crying about how out-of-tune I am counted as cardio.

Apparently I’ve been mistaken. I can tell you from personal experience that the only times my sneakers get dirty are on my frantic walks from Commons to Blair.

And even if I’m 20 minutes late, I don’t run because I have no idea how.

Counting is hard for you

Most classical music is written with four beats in a measure, which also happens to be the highest number that most musicians can count up to. Yes, I took calculus in high school. Did I fail? No. Did I enjoy it? No.

The current piece we are playing in the Blair Symphony Orchestra has a few spots that require us to count to 13. You better believe that every time we get to those spots in the music, everyone freaks out. Why?

Because we chose this life for a reason: so that we’d never have to count to anything higher than four ever again.

You love going to the airport

Every time you go to the airport, you get tons of compliments on your “guitar” and/or “ukulele”. As a cello player, air travel is already the worst thing ever. Not only do I have to purchase my cello its own seat on the plane, but I also get to enjoy the distinguished pleasure of having random people point at my case and ask me how long I’ve been playing the guitar and whether or not I’m in a band.

I’m not in a band, Sir, I play Bach and listen to symphonies for fun.

You are a YouTube legend

You and your friends make your school famous by turning some frat guy’s texts into a piece of musical art. I’m truly honored to be friends with some of the musicians who made this masterpiece happen. 

If for some reason you have yet to experience this work of art, do yourself a favor and follow the link below.

Texts From A Beta [explicit]

You’re the life of the party

When it’s time to step out of the practice room, letting loose still comes second nature. I know it seems strange to imagine that musicians do anything remotely normal or fun such as listen to music that was not written by a German guy who’s been dead for two centuries.

I promise, when Blair kids get the chance to go out, I doubt you’d even recognize them.