When ‘no new friends’ gets too real

Does sticking with your hometown friends in college limit you?

College is scary. There is no debating that idea. People come from all over the country, and even the world, to attend universities just like ours to seek new opportunities socially and in academics. Though we are all different at the core, one main difference we have is where we come from. There are out-of-state kids, out of country kids, those that are from good ol’ Virginia, and even some from the Charlottesville area. While we all meet different people, there is a sharp divide between those who know dozens of people at the University from their hometown, and those who do not know a single soul on move-in day.

It seems like wherever you turn you’ll bump into someone you know, as did Jordan Brown and Chloe Cohen during syllabus week after having known each other in middle school.

I’ve found that in-state kids initially hang around people from back home. While it’s great to have someone to hang out with on the first day and not go through that awkward meeting people phase, one week of hanging out with people you already know can turn into a few weeks and the next thing you know you’re only going out with your home friends.

“I love my friends from home, but I really do think that it has stopped me from making other friends here at UVA.” said Virginia Beach native Josh Sisler. “I find myself hanging out and going out with the same people and the people that I do meet that aren’t from VB, I usually forget in a drunken stupor.”

I know my friends Jake Butler and David Vann from back home.

In the long run I wondered if this detracts from having the full college experience.

“Knowing a lot of people in college from my hometown makes the school seem a little smaller than it actually is at first,”said another VB native Andrew Bojanowski. “I saw a lot of familiar faces, and while it helped ease the transition from home to school, it did make me a little lazy in getting out of my comfort zone. It took longer for me to reach out and meet new people than if I hadn’t known anyone.”

Virginia Beach kids Merly Konathapolly, Andrew Bojanowski and Jordan Hall venture out and meet new people like Sabrina Harms, but not too new since she’s from Virginia also.

Not all First Years find this as constricting.

Jessica Peck said, “Although starting college with many good friends from high school has definitely made me feel less motivated to make new friends, having a group of people that are familiar to me is helpful in this time of transition.”

Charlie Schugg, Oliver Knocklein and Jessica Peck

Some UVA out-of-state students also notice this phenomenon and have their own views on the situation. They too usually had the option of staying in state but chose to come to UVA as a chance to start over. They don’t have the same pressure to stay in contact with their hometown friends.

“I feel that students that know many people are more constricted in their freedom to develop themselves in new ways and may feel pressured to behave as they did in high school,” said Katie Salotto of Pennsylvannia. “These students may not branch out to new people and opportunities because of the comfortable crutch of knowing others, or may feel obligated to carry on friendships with individuals that they otherwise wouldn’t if it were not for proximity.”

Chloe Cohen, Sydney Williams, Katie and I get our minds blown by Mellow Mushroom – trust me the meatballs will change your life. (Also shout-out to Katie for having her first taste of guacamole ever…do they not have guac in Pennsylvania?!)

Sometimes being in such close contact with people from your hometown can be overwhelming especially if you don’t interact much with other people not from the 757 (if you’re from Virginia Beach). Students sometimes have people from their hometown come visit them to alleviate the homesickness. This can help the transition into college go smoother, but also could cause you to feel as though you really haven’t made any new friends.

Virginia Beach students (surprise, more 757 people) come to visit first year Nic Zarate.

If I’m going to be completely honest, I love having friends from my hometown here at UVA. I always feel as though I have a shoulder to cry on when I have problems that my new friends might not already know about. I can call my friends at three in the morning and mention a single word and they’ll know I’m referring to something that happened to me in November of 2013. Having hometown friends is not a bad thing, you can easily mooch off them for rides back and they relate to those groan-worthy inside jokes about mass flooding or crappy surf back at home. Friends are friends no matter where they come from.

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