What your profile picture says about you
If it’s still a photobooth pic, we need to talk
Arguably one of the best parts about college is meeting someone new and instantly going home and stalking them on Facebook. Suddenly you feel like you’ve known them for years: you know their great aunt’s maiden name, the exact peak of their awkward stage, that video they thought was funny in 2009, and maybe their long list of ex-lovers.
But all this investigation has to start somewhere – that’s where your pro-pic comes in. This comes up next to every comment you post or link you share, and once upon a time, people cared about how many likes yours had.
But overall, your profile picture tips off your Facebook stalkers as to what kind of person you may be behind the scenes of social media.
Selfie
You’re the funny friend who isn’t afraid to defy the norms of social media. Most people would cringe at the thought of a selfie profile picture, dubbing it a key indicator of the awkward middle school stage. But if you can own your selfie without being ridiculed then props to you.
(If it’s a PhotoBooth selfie, we may need to talk…)
Solo shot
You have friends who can take pictures for you (hence not needing to take a selfie).
OR you’ve been on too many family vacations that consisted of your parents forcing you to pose awkwardly by yourself in front of monuments/beaches/mountains/the Eiffel Tower.
Leaning against a Lawn column
Congratulations, you have a LinkedIn profile and are officially a real UVA student!
Couple pic
You’re in a relationship, duh! Bound to get some mixed reviews from this. Single cynics will scroll past it and groan (“Couples – ew”).
Someone who’s not you/inanimate object
You’re a middle school boy. Please, PLEASE change it ASAP, because when girls start stalking you, they’re going to want to see YOUR face, not Tiger Woods’ or Kobe Bryant’s. And definitely not a car.
A picture of your kids
You’re a mom. Most likely one who’s new to Facebook. But hey, no shame in showing a little love for your offspring, right?
Group shot
You like to fly under the radar. Spotlight? Not your thing. But seriously, this is actually annoying from a Facebook-stalker standpoint. Don’t make us have to guess which one you are. And please at least tag everyone else!
Or you’re in a sorority, yay srat friends!
(Pro tip: the more people, the fewer likes you should expect – just sayin’).
Childhood throwback
You’re a little obsessed with yourself (but then again, who isn’t?). I mean, this is basically your way of saying, “Hey world, look how cute I used to be.” You also could be trying to divert people’s attention from your current appearance: “I was cute…once…maybe not now, but I promise I was.”
A shameless plug for upcoming CIO recruitment or philanthropy event
You’re involved, so good for you! And you’re proud of your club/organization so that’s even better. Bonus points if you throw in a witty caption, because that makes it a little more bearable for those of us who have to scroll past it in our news feeds.
Pet pic
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like – if you’ve got a photo of yourself with your cute dog it is a like-worthy profile pic. No friend compares to your four-legged pal.