Here’s which celebrity each Corner bar would be

Trinity is exactly who you think it would be

Each corner bar has its own distinct style, mood and group of patrons. Fourth years and grad schools flock to very different bars than underclassmen and townies.

Depending on whether you wanna feel like Ke$ha or you’re more in an Ed Sheeran kind of mood, we’ve compiled a list of which celebrity each Corner bar would be.

Trinity: Ke$ha

Ke$ha may be like the drunk aunt who goes too hard on Christmas, but most people have a soft spot for her (or at least her music) deep down. In the same way, Trinity, with its three floors of blaring music and impenetrable, sweaty crowds is something every UVA student will look back on and laugh -probably because you fell down the staircase ten too many times.

You definitely need to be in the right mood (AKA proper drunken state) to tolerate Trin, just as it takes a certain level of desire to get down to Ke$ha’s glittery pop tunes. All in all, when you go to Trin you are committing to doing something you will likely regret… but would Ke$ha care about that? Most likely not.

*Disclaimer: you definitely won’t wake up the next morning feeling like P-Diddy*

Coupes: Ed Sheeran


A favorite spot for many on those warm spring/summer nights. Renowned for it’s hoppin’ live music and Fuckity-Fucks (the name says it all), Coupes is usually a crowd pleaser so long as it’s not the dead of the winter. However, every Ed Sheeran concert has its fair share of crazed teenager fangirls, easily comparable to the slew of First Years hopping the back fence just to get in.

Eddy’s: Kanye West

Despite its prime location on the corner, Eddy’s can be very hit or miss – just like Kanye, who we either love or hate for his infallible ego. Don’t be deterred by the gaggle of townies posted up by the pool table, ‘cause once the dancing starts, you’re guaranteed to have a good time (I mean, as long as there are people in the bar).

Boylan: Michael Jordan

Do you like sports?! Do you not care who knows?! Boylan is the place for you, especially if you weren’t lucky enough to win a student basketball ticket….or if you’re trying to run into the athletes themselves (hint: they’re not hard to find).

But if you’re not into sitting and chowing down on burgers (first of all, you should reevaluate your priorities), Boylan’s upper level is guaranteed to be popping.

The Virginian: Leonardo DiCaprio/Thomas Jefferson

The most classic spot on the Corner (look at the name, duh), and also one of the oldest. That’s why it attracts mostly seasoned veterans (aka fourth years) who you’re likely to catch dancing on tables.

Basically, this is where you take anyone who comes to visit because you want them to experience the Mac and Cheese.

The Biltmore: Emma Watson

Like the Virg’s younger cousin, this prime spot on Elliewood maintains a certain level of classiness – except, perhaps, during Survivor Hour when you have to wage a war to get up to the bar (but those drink specials though!!!).

Crozet: Zooey Deschanel

Hipster destination #1. Zooey, once dubbed “The Reigning Indie Queen Hipster,” would certainly approve. It’s all about “bein’ quirky,” am I right?! If you’re looking for some ~chill vibes~ slightly more isolated from the hubbub of the Corner, Crozet is certainly the place for you.

And who can say no to that pizza?

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