Meet the students who are offering ‘Bae-for-the-Day Services’

It happens every year: Valentine’s Day but no Valentine to share it with. Most people have experienced what this is like and a lot would deem it a quite unpleasant experience. Even if you are perfectly content with the single life, Valentine’s Day has a special way of making you feel crappy by shoving other people’s relationships in your face – how rude.

But fear not, ladies, because a new service has come out that will ensure you will never be alone on Valentine’s Day, or really any day, again.

Second year Kendall Jordan and first years Kordell Burgess and Barry White have amassed an empire. Its name: Bae-for-the-Day Services.

“Bae-for-the-Day Services is provided for anyone who feels lonely and needs a bae for the day,” Barry explains.

“It is provided for anyone who needs someone to hold their hand while they walk down the street, look cute in front of their parents, look nice on Instagram, or make it look like you’re having a nice time on Snapchat.”

Kordell came up with the services’ contact number: 1-800-201- SIDE. By calling the number, a girl can plan the date of her heart’s desire with any three of these nice young gentlemen.

Kendall said he tried to get it started last year, but no one had taken him seriously. Now with Kordell and Barry to his aid, the three are up and coming with this new service, and they plan to continue to grow next year.

“This year it really got started and next year it’s going on full effect” says Kendall. “Next year we will have logos and stickers, the whole thing.”

“The empire originally got founded to cover the needs of women on Valentine’s Day, but in the upcoming years we plan to expand our services for multiple occasions.”

“However,” Barry adds “We aren’t strictly seasonal. We will be your dinner date, prom date or any other formal occasion, a cuddle buddy (or more), someone to take home to your friends or parents.”

Doesn’t this sound too good to be true? There are some conditions, the boys explain. For one, no services can be provided any longer than a three-day weekend and although you can pay for the services more than once that will cost extra. Yes, the services do come with some nominal fees, ladies.

“For Snapchat it’s a dollar a second for pictures and a video is an automatic three dollars,” says Barry.

“The girl has to pick us up and we’ll open the door for you ( your own car door not ours) and if we have to get a car ourselves then that will cost you extra. Instagram pictures are fifty cents per like – since we are trying to be reasonable for you guys – and it cannot stay up longer than two days.”

Kendall came up with another solution: “If you don’t have a car I’ll catch you on the Northline. I don’t know what time exactly I’ll be able to pick you up but I’ll continue to check the app and give you updates.”

Kordell has the movie date planned out:

“If I’m taking her to the movies, she can give me the money and I’ll physically buy the tickets with her money, and I’ll make it seem like I insisted to pay for it myself.

“And yes, I’ll kiss any girl that desires to do so but that will be extra. If her lips are crusty – that’s extra extra. And her breath can’t be on crank, or this is no longer an option. We also have coupons buy one kiss, get one 50% off. That she can also use.”

Meanwhile, Kendall has the dinner date solved: “If dinner is over twenty dollars than the girl will have to pay the difference, and that includes both our dinners. If you notice Applebees has nice two-for-twenty menu available, and the girl will have to cover the tip.”

Also, there is one more thing that Barry has made extremely clear: “If she drops the word ‘boyfriend’ to her friends or her family that is an automatic fifty dollar charge – ‘boyfriend’ is a big word we can’t just have that floating around. If she says it more than once, it is an additional charge every time the word is uttered.”

Now I know what you ladies are thinking – they come with a lot of regulations, but once you get past all those silly rules you are able to enjoy the date of a lifetime with one of these three wonderful guys.

Let us not forget why the empire was founded in the first place: “We were tired of seeing all the single young ladies out there alone on Valentine’s Day,” explains Barry. “Everyone deserves to be special at least one day of the year.”

Kendall adds: “Everyone deserves a stress relief. I want to be your stress reliever. I am trying to be your Advil so that I can be one less headache that you have to deal with.”