If the Corner bars were celebrities
Liz Lemon would hate Virg, but its definitely Tina Fey’s bar
What you should expect for your night on the Corner is generally determined by which bar you decide to attend.
We have six main favorites, all with their own distinct character – The Biltmore, Crozet, Coupes, The Virginian, Trinity, and Boylan Heights.
While most of us have experienced the unique feel to each, what better way to describe them than by what celebrity they would be?
Biltmore
Lets start off with The Biltmore. Due to The Biltmore’s normally low-key presence with an occasional wild side, if “Bilt” were a celeb it would definitely be Mila Kunis. For the most part, the Elliewood bar is frequented by fourth years and graduate students – a refuge from needing to scream to your friends over the loud music of Boylan, or losing your coat at Trin. This is generally the case except for every Thursday from 8 to 9pm when just about everyone comes out to play for Survivor Hour (note the time that a friend of mine drank all of her alcohol for the evening within this hour long period to avoid paying for full priced drinks – definitely not low key).
Crozet
Maybe it’s because we have actually run into him at Crozet, but the well kept secret of Elliewood would definitely be embodied in Kevin Spacey. Due to its unlimited amount of dance floor space, both indoor and out, the diverse group of people in attendance, or the ability for it to function as both a place to get down and dirty as well as to socialize in a more subdued manner, Crozet is a multifaceted bar, much as Kevin is as an actor. Both have a slightly chill demeanor, with an edge of wild fire. Will you get Frank Underwood or Pay It Forward? You never know.
Coupes
Coupes is where you go for the good environment, great drinks, and even better people. The social undergrad’s hot spot while also a Corner Classic, it is the Miles Teller of Corner bars. Occasionally overlooked, but never a regret once chosen, Coupes is consistently filled with people, even on a Monday (mojito Mondays anyway?) The kind of place that can be somber early and become ratchet with the turn of a hat, Miles would fit right in.
The Virginian
A well-loved UVA tradition, and infamous institution on the Corner, no one could embody Virg better than our own Tina Fey. It is a well known fact that you must earn your right to Virg – hence why it’s a fourth year bar – and Tina has clearly earned her stripes. While Liz Lemon would probably hate the packed hallway that is Virg, get a few drinks in her and she’d be on top of the tables with the rest of them.
Trinity
There are very few things that could happen at Trinity which would surprise us, hence its celebrity being Lindsay Lohan. Just about everything has gone down on those sacred floors. Without a doubt the place to go when you’re looking for a good time without enduring judgement from others. Not very old but looking a little worse for wear, the dance floor make outs and sweaty selfies mirror Lindsay pretty well.
Boylan Heights
It is almost a given that entering into Boylan will lead to surrounding yourself with a decent amount of aesthetically pleasing athletes who are looking for a good time. So who better than the party boy of the NFL to be Boylan’s celebrity mascot? Rob Gronkowski (“Gronk” as Pats fan lovingly call him) exhibits almost all of Boylan’s most lovable traits. Throw a couple kittens in Boylan (see: Gronk’s shirtless kitten photoshoot) and we’d be set.