Tips to get an appointment at the health center
Because that fever can’t wait for an available appointment time…
We've all been there. You wake up one morning and your throat feels like it is on fire, you cannot stop shivering, and your head feels like there is a tiny person playing soccer inside of it.
You instantly lunge for your laptop and try to make an appointment at the health center and there are none available for a couple days. Panic sets in. One, you feel terrible. Two, you have class in an hour and without a note from the health center there is no way to prove to your professor that you actually were lying in your bed moaning and not just going to the beach with friends.
i’m tired of college professors emailing me in the most informal way possible. i’ll be like, “prof Kamps, please excuse me for not showing up to today’s lecture i’ve been sick all week. i will make up all the work. thank you” & they be like “aye bet – kamps”
— danger boy den (@heyimden_) February 13, 2018
Have no fear, the Tab compiled a few sneaky tricks to get you that health center appointment right when you need it:
Pick up the phone
Call and see if there are cancellations. Engemann does not publish their cancelled appointments online. If you call, there's a chance you could get in that day.
If you're dizzy – tell them
Is your head bothering you? Does it hurt? Did the pain come on suddenly? Is it also dizzy? Yes, say yes. If you claim dizziness or a "sudden" headache, the acute care clinic will take you in right away!
If you have a fever – tell them
If your fever is higher than 101.5 or you're vomiting, similar to dizziness, the acute care clinic has to see you immediately.
Let them know about the "plague" going around your dorm
If your throat is bothering you, call the health center and tell that your roommate had strep, and you just want to make sure you do not have it too.
If there's one thing USC hates, it is a contagious virus or bacterial illness. If you claim that someone you live with had a specific illness and now you are displaying the same symptoms, the health center will take you in almost immediately in an attempt to stop the spread.
We got students out here with colds, strep, influenza, swine flu, bird flu, alpaca flu, bubonic plague…if you can name it there’s a freshman coughing it up in a dorm bathroom and pretending a double dose of DayQuil can fix it. https://t.co/JlIRgkNZq1
— Jacob Roddam (@JacobRoddam) January 30, 2018
Be open about your medical history
If you think you may have an illness you have gotten before or are prone to, tell the health center that. They will be even more inclined to fit you in if you tell them, "I tend to get strep throat pretty easily, I've had it a bunch in my life."
You could also use this tip for any other verified illness that there is a clear test for, such as mono.
Stress your concerns about contagious illnesses
Have you been coughing? When you call the health center, tell them you are scared it may be pneumonia. Pneumonia is another thing USC does not want spreading.
If your cough seems pretty rough, it is definitely better to be safe than sorry? (Plus, it will get you an appointment time almost immediately…)
Everyone in this class is sniffling and snorting and I can't tell if it's the second wave of the USC plague or just allergies
— Kassidy Krystek (@_KassidyK) April 3, 2017
Mention how long you've been ill
If you have symptoms that have lasted more than two weeks, the health center will want to see you as quickly as possible. Make sure to mention that on your phone call.
Exaggerate…just a tad, though
If all else fails, walk to the health center, tell them how terrible you feel, exaggerate just a tad, and they will do their best to try to fit you in.
Update on my illness: im dying. Goodbye cruel world
— Reese (@ReesePollock) February 11, 2018
Use these tips this flu season! And make sure to get your sleep, take care of yourself, and try not to stress out too much.