A short list of total shits that are probably being considered for executive roles at USC

Weinstein for med school dean

USC has picked some real winners lately.

We replaced a meth-head with someone accused of sexual harassment, our assistant basketball coach was charged with bribery and fraud, and now administrator David Carrera has left his post after accusations of discrimination and harassment came his way.

So who will be next? Which esteemed citizens will USC select to fill these vacant roles? The Tab has some predictions for you.

OJ Simpson

With his 1968 Heisman still on display and #32 jersey hanging across end zone seats, USC sure has been reluctant to cut off ties with OJ. (Not-so) Future USC executive, anyone?

Al Cowlings

If they're hiring OJ, they're definitely going for his partner in crime, Al, too. They already named a residential college named after him. It's just the next logical step.

Rob Kardashian

Rob Kardashian sure knows something about mistreating women, making him a perfect fit for USC's administrative staff! Catch this alumnus bringing in the money, cameras and controversy during the 2018-2019 school year.

Bryan Singer

We didn't take Harvey Weinstein's money, but we have accepted $5 million in the past from USC alumnus and alleged sex ring participant, Bryan Singer. The lawsuit was dismissed in 2014, but the famed X-Men director's tainted image makes him a great candidate for the USC administration.

And last but not least…

Harvey Weinstein

The university hesitated for at least a week before rejecting Weinstein's multi-million dollar gift, and they only came to that resolution after being publicly pressured. Also, let's not forget about Rohit Varma, the med school dean that was punished by the university in 2003 for sexual assault allegations and then was promoted as a dean about 14 years later…

Clearly the administration's latest trend is promoting those accused of sexual assault. So, who will be the next med school dean? Our money (all $5 million of it) is on Weinstein.

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