The best jokes from Will Ferrell’s commencement address

His commencement address to Trump University was better tbh…

Will Ferrell delivered the USC Commencement address on the morning of May 12, 2017. In classic Ferrell fashion, the SNL and Step Brothers actor cracked a few jokes and sang a few songs. The comedian referenced pop-culture, including Kanye West, and even poked fun at the Los Angeles culture that is willing to wait two hours for a milkshake at Shake Shack because it’s ~trendy~.

Here is a list of the best commencement speech quotes from the Joke King himself:

After announcing the other honorary doctorates…

“And then there’s me. Will Ferrell, whose achievements include running naked through the city of Montrose in Old School.”

A warning to all

“I’ve been informed that I can now perform minimally invasive surgery at any time or any place, even if people don’t want it.”

He even took a jab at United Airlines, a Trojan-run operation

“‘I’m a doctor, what can I do? Yes, no problem, I can absolutely deliver that baby.’ Hopefully it will be on United Airlines, in which I will be immediately be subdued and dragged off the aircraft, which we all know will be recorded on someone’s iPhone and put on YouTube.”

And a fashionably-timed jab at President Trump

“The institutions to which I have spoken at previously include Bryman School of Nursing, DeVry Technical School, Debbie Dudeson School of Trucking, University of Phoenix, Hollywood DJ Academy and Trump University. I am still waiting to get paid from Trump University. In fact, it turns out I owe Trump University money for the honor to speak at Trump University.”

Congrats to all, except for you 

“All of you have excelled in various courses of study. All of you, except for four students. And you know exactly who you are.”

Exposing the reality that we’re all out here just trying to keep up with the Kardashians

“Future person turns to me and says, ‘I can tell you that you will become one of the most famous alumni in this university, mentioned in the same breath as John Wayne, Neil Armstrong and Rob Kardashian.”

His major is now called ‘Communications’

“But it turns out I did graduate in 1990 with a degree in Sports Information. Yes. You heard me, Sports Information. A program so difficult, so arduous, that they discontinued the major eight years after I left.”

Song 1 of 2

“My stand-up act was based mostly on material derived from watching old episodes of Star Trek. My opening joke was to sing the opening theme to Star Trek.” [Sings]

Even Ferrell has fears

“I’m just realizing how many people are watching me right now, and it’s scary. Can you please look away while I deliver the rest of the speech?”

Criticism he has received over the years

“One woman wrote to me and said she hated my portrayal of George W. Bush. It was mean-spirited, not funny and besides you have a fat face.”

His fat face has never stopped him 

“As for my fat face, you are 100 percent right. I’m trying to work on that. Please don’t hesitate to write me again if you feel like I’ve lost some weight in my face.”

Looking back at failures

“When I left SNL all I really had was a movie called Old School that wouldn’t be released for another year, and a sub-par script that needed a huge rewrite about a man raised by elves at the North Pole.”

All hail Queen Ferrell

“Even now I still lose out on parts that I want so desperately. My most painful example was losing the role of Queen Elizabeth in the film The Queen.”

If all else fails, graduates, Ferrell will always love you

“If you do have a moment where you feel a little down just think of the support you have from this great Trojan family and imagine me, literally picture my face, singing this song gently into your ear: *sings I Will Always Love You

Fight on and congrats, grads.

University of Southern California class of 2017 commencement address Will Ferrell