Ted Cruz drops out – now not even California will stop Trump
I think we all saw this coming
On Tuesday, Senator Ted Cruz dropped out of the presidential race to pursue his other full time profession as the Zodiac Killer. As early as March, rumors emerged claiming that Cruz was the notorious Zodiac Killer that terrorized California in the late ’60s and early ’70s.
Unable to ignore America’s demand for the truth any longer, Ted Cruz’s wife, Heidi Cruz, admitted yesterday, “I know pretty well who he is, so it doesn’t bother me at all.” Her confession that she was weirdly okay with Cruz’ side hobbies, slapped the last nail on his presidential casket.
After losing Indiana to America’s favorite racist uncle, Cruz withdrew his candidacy to a room of God-fearing, Target-hating supporters. “From the beginning, I have said that I will continue on as long as there is a viable path to victory,” Cruz announced. “Tonight, I am sorry to say, it appears that path has been closed.”
Turning his back to the audience, Cruz abandoned his dream of becoming the America’s next bigoted POTUS. On the brighter side, Cruz’s schedule now allows for time with friends, like former presidential candidate Lindsay Graham who said in February that “if you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trail was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.”
Whether it’s Zodiac killing or blaming homosexuals for the sins of America, we’ll miss our Teddy.
In his final appearance Tuesday morning, Cruz warned that “if Indiana does not act, this country could well plunge into the abyss.” In that case, I guess we’re in the abyss now.
Welcome to Trump Nation.
Author’s Note: The author, and the rest of the voters, forgot that Governor John Kasich was still in the race. LOL. It’s going to be a slaughter.