Everyone on campus needs to start walking faster or I am going to lose it
My patience is lower than your mph
Everyone’s been there. Well, not you slow-walkers, but for all my fellow fast-walkers, you can relate.
You’re on your way to class, you get behind a mob of slow-walkers and you just want to scream. I’m not even talking about moderate to normal walking, which is still less than satisfactory. I’m talking about those people who seem like they are doing a 0.5 on a treadmill.
I truly do not understand slow-walkers. I am trying to make it across campus without being late and just want to lean over and, in the nicest way possible, say “Move, Bish. Get Out Da Way!”
The phrase “walk with a purpose” is my life’s motto and if you don’t believe in it, then sorry, not sorry. I know it’s not that hard to walk fast – and if you do not want to walk at a normal, human pace, then why are you taking up so much of the sidewalk with your fellow slow-walkers?
Even with weaving through the mass amounts of people, I still am forced to stop because there is always that one group. We have all see them walking together side by side. They are not even talking like pals, but rather looking at their cell phones so immersed that they can’t even recognize I am on their tail praying they have telepathy and can hear me screaming at them in my head.
So if you are unsure if you fall in the category of slow walking, next time you’re out on a stroll or simply going to class and notice someone walking behind you very closely, you’re probably a slow-walker. Simply step to the very edge and allow this kind fast-walker to pass.
All we ask is for your cooperation, not your approval. We know you think you are enjoying your life more than the rest of us by taking everything in, but we don’t see it that way.
As a fast walker my goal is to get from point A to point B in as little time as possible. If I want to enjoy the outdoors and take it all in, I can do that on a warm day by relaxing on the steps of Wilson Library or at a table outside the Union, not during my 15 minutes to make it from one side of campus to another.
