What I will actually do instead of changing in 2017

I look forward to seeing the “new year, new me” posts every year because we all know we say that every January 1. Do we change? Probably not. Is it nice to think we’ll go to the gym and eat more vegetables? Of course. I know myself better than that, though. I won’t be changing, but I certainly will pretend that I will. Here’s the cliche list of New Year’s resolutions and why we all probably won’t be doing much more than pretending in 2017.

“I will eat healthier foods.”

Most people want to eat better. I don’t even know what “eating better” means and I’m sure Ben & Jerry and Orville Redenbacher don’t mind my frequent spending.

“I will work out more often.”

I might head to the gym a few times to make myself feel better, but I’ll actually just go one time and ache for six months. Sorry, Absolution and Intensity– maybe next year.

“I will take more time to enjoy the view and head outside.”

We all know how comfortable our beds are and how easy it is to press snooze. On top of that, I got a new cooling pillow for Christmas. Hard pass. I will be running to my morning classes just like I have every day since I’ve gotten to Carolina. And if I do stop for a view, it will be for my snapchat.

“I will meet new people.”

Considering I barely take the time to see people I already know, this idea ends before it begins. I love my friends, of course, but my free time is spent stressing about school and crying in the corner.

“I will travel to different places.”

HA. I’m broke. You’re broke. We’re all broke. Spring break is a great time to sleep all day and save those ten dollars you could’ve used for gas to the exotic location known as Raleigh, NC. Summer is spent working and long weekends are spent sobbing over the Carolina workload. Maybe I will be able to vacation when I die!

I’ll just dream of new places instead

“I will stop procrastinating.”

Okay, so this one is a nice thought. I really should do my homework earlier and leave more time for myself. This idea actually sounds great and I’ll definitely try this one. It may even work for the first two weeks until I get attached to a new Netflix show and stop doing my homework at all.

“I will end my television show addiction.”

So this is one that can be easily solved– I can just cancel my Netflix account. But if I get behind on any of my shows, that means I might miss something important. It’s an addiction, I know, but is enjoying art really a bad thing? Maybe we should all make more time for art in 2017.

“I will reduce the amount of stress in my life.”

I’m a UNC student, so there’s no chance for this one. But, the stress is worth it because I’m a Tar Heel.

There’s one thing that I would never try to change, though. I am happy that it stays the same every year. UNC is my home and I’ll forever be a Tar Heel. Plus, Bruno Mars says I’m amazing just the way I am, so there’s that, too.