I was almost refused breakfast because my shorts were too short

That’s right. If your shorts are too short, you’re not allowed to eat in UMiami dining halls.

I learned this the hard way when I walked into the Mahoney-Pearson dining hall on Tuesday morning. I smiled and said good morning to the woman who took my card, but she didn’t swipe it.

Instead, she said, “Turn around.” I was like oh shit, there’s something on me. Is it a bug? Dirt? I turned around and I guess she approved of my butt, because she swiped me in.

I asked her what that was for, and she said, “We have a no cheek policy here. Your butt cheeks can’t be showing.”

I’m sorry, what?

I’ve never really associated myself with feminism or ever gotten involved with the whole over-sexualization of women thing, but this crossed a line. First off, my shorts aren’t even that short. My butt was completely covered, as proved by my being allowed to still eat breakfast.

Even if I did break this “no cheek policy”, how would that affect or offend anyone? Would my shorts prevent people from being able to swallow their breakfast as I sit and eat? If I was not allowed into the dining hall, I would have missed breakfast and been unable to eat until after my classes – all because someone was offended by (not showing) butt cheeks.

I honestly feel like I’m back in high school, where my stomach, legs, and shoulders posed a threat to the education of those around me. The rules that surround girls and their bodies in high school apparently can follow them to college.

I spent all day Tuesday tugging on my shorts, hoping that nobody could see my butt – which they couldn’t. This rule is ridiculous, and the fact that some girls will be, and probably already have been, turned away from eating because of the length of their shorts is apparently disturbing.