Being gay at college is hard, even at a school as diverse as UMiami

College can be quite unnerving: from having to feel comfortable with being uncomfortable, to socializing with complete strangers, it is a time of both ambitious ventures and worrying thoughts. Freshman year is like a salad bowl, scrumptiously made of insecure lettuce, with a dash of low-self esteemed carrots and a sprinkle of anxiety-ridden dressing. Unfortunately, this healthy-seeming diet seems to be the daily special for the average gay student who decides to dorm his first year.

My initial thoughts were pretty terrifying 

I can speak on behalf of most LGBTQ students when I say that I have personally not had the best of luck in the past when meeting new people. In most cases, my stereotypical flamboyancy is a dead give-away to my multicolored sexual orientation. And as soon as I open my mouth, people stare as if I’m wearing a name badge that says, “Hello, my name is Gay.” As a result, I have always been extremely self-conscious of first impression.

On move-in day, I kept my tell-tale demeanor in mind as I frantically searched for my dorm. I could feel my knees buckle, in fear of facing my ultimate nemesis: a homophobic heterosexual man. It’s not so much that I fear being harassed, but rather, feeling excluded. I should know not to jump to conclusions, but I’m still terrified of being a victim of prejudice.

Meeting my roommate was one of the scariest moments of my life

Saying I was nervous to meet my roommate would be a complete understatement. In order to understand, mix the nauseating sensation you feel when standing up too suddenly with that of the churning of your stomach before an oral presentation, and you might just barely understand my emotional and physical state of distress.

I’d like to think I am considerate of others, and making my roommate feel awkward was not on my to-do list. I began to question the reasons I was feeling so anxious. I mean, I was out of the closet, so there was nothing to hide. And even more, UMiami itself is pretty much as diverse as it gets.

South Florida is a hub for minorities which quite frankly just makes them the majority. And being gay isn’t a foreign concept to the members of the Miami community given the massive efforts behind Miami Gay Pride, which is one of the best in the nation. So what exactly was making me feel so uneasy?

There’s a lot of misinformation floating around

A certain misconception surrounds gay men defining them as promiscuous beings who want nothing but sex, all the time. This, of course, is just that, a misconception. But as misleading as this stigma is, I myself am guilty for starting to believe it.

Not only did I assume that my floor mates would have these preconceived ideas about me, but I also forgot that being gay doesn’t define me. I am much more than just gay. This became a lesson well learned in my first few weeks.

Epiphany

The U did not fail to surprise me. During orientation I was able to finally meet my entire floor and even more importantly, my roommate, who never fails to treat me normally: not that there is a “normal.”

Several of my floor mates had close ties with members of the LGBTQ community, from cousins to family friends, the rainbow could be found even in the most seemingly heteronormative lifestyles.

From helping to style hair (this is in no way promoting a stereotype) to being a wing man, I can gratefully say that living with a group of about 35 guys has been one of the most exciting experiences I’ve had here at the University of Miami.

Oh yeah, Hecht yeah!

These charming gentlemen choose to see past my sexual orientation and focus on my character, instead of merely believing stigmatized concepts of gay men, which has led me to believe that living with a tribe of 18 year-old straight guys isn’t as bad as you’d think it be.

My fears here have been extinguished and I can only hope that all present and future students of the queer community can experience the same acceptance I feel here, at the U.