UMass students told us their most obscure ways to chill out during midterms

From poetry to porn, these kids will do anything to rid midterm stress

What’s the scariest event in October? If your answer was Halloween, you’re dead wrong.

It’s midterms, you ghoul! For what could be scarier than the stress, late nights, and last minute studying that you know won’t help?

There are two types of students here at UMass. The ones who cope with midterm stress in pretty run-of-the-mill ways, i.e: going to bed early, eating healthy, planning study times.

The second type are the students who destress in the weirdest, most bizarre, obscure ways.

Meet three of them among us:

John for example, is among the stranger half. He, like any other vape god in college, goes through three Juul pods a day.

“When there’s nothing you can do to prevent failing, vape," he said. "Takes a load of the brain."

Okay, thanks John. We’ll take your advice and talk to you in a month when we’ve got three throat ulcers and a nicotine addiction.

But John isn’t the only one with these obscene tactics. Jake, your friendly neighborhood bro, suggest wanking.

“Well when the going gets tough, the hand gets jerking,” Jake said.

Yep thats right, this UMass student's favorite stress relief for midterms is a good jerk session in his room after a long study period or exam.

Not everyone is like Jake or John though, there are others with less extravagant, and, er, pleasurable tactics.

Sarah, the sweetheart, enjoys writing poetry. Bless her soul. She expresses her stress through powerful words. She says it allows her to ease her mind and express her stress with a positive outcome.

There’s some advice we might actually take! Well probably not, but maybe.

Overall, whether it be through vaping, jerking off, or writing poetry, these three are all getting through Midterms alive which is the main concern! In lesson, we now realize that there are always quirks we can find as ways to alleviate stress, even if they might be the most obscure .

UMass Amherst