‘Killer clown’ has ‘made its way to UMass’

This is not a drill

Immediately following reports of a rifle-wielding clown at Merrimack College, come UMass clown reports in Southwest near Pierpont hall.

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But not to worry, because it appears citizens of Southwest are not having any of this funny business. Students can be seen taking to the streets, reportedly wielding weapons, to stop the creepy costumed crusader.

The clown sightings have been reported all over the country within the past few days, spawning horrifying and hysterical videos of clowns standing menacingly by shopping malls or chasing down cars with machetes. Merrimack is currently on lockdown after reports of an armed clown on campus.

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Photographic evidence of the jovial juggalo has yet to emerge, but he might want to move on to another location, and fast. “A guy I know got his hockey gear and ran outside screaming.” Reports UMass¬†student, Shae Feather.

Stay in groups and keep away from unlit paths. Please call UMPD to report any related sightings. (413) 545-2121

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