It’s officially day drinking season

Tried and tested ways to absolutely kill it at the next day drink

The weather is warming up and now it is time to put on a cute outfit and get drunk in the daytime!

And if you have already been doing this it is now socially acceptable.

We’ve compiled a list of everything you have to do to successfully get your day drink on.


As many of you know overcompensation is always great.  You are not being annoying and you are coming across as being super confident.  Is your handle bigger than your dick? Absolutely not, but wave it around like it is anyway!

Wear sunglasses

Not only do you look really fucking cool rocking your Raybans but you also are more mysterious.  Am I checking out that cute boy super aggressively? Yes, but he can’t tell because I have my sunglasses on. I am ~anonymous~.

This is me looking uncomfortable

Am I checking out a cute boy? or am I crying on the inside?

Try and play football

Everybody loves an athlete and what better way to show them you workout then to hurl a football as hard as you can with no aim whatsoever? The girl you nailed in the back of the head will be impressed by how much it hurt and what good of an arm you have.

Any guesses where the football and beer can are gonna fall?

The impending doom of a football at a day drink


I mean this goes without saying but figured I would put it in there anyway.  If you ever got drunk at the beach you know you woke up with a sunburn,  but that sunburn eventually faded into a killer tan so this is a win/win.


Be Chatty

Tell the boy in the light of day how you know that he lives in your building because you saw him in the common room that one time three months ago.  He will be so happy that you remembered him.  This does NOT make you look like a psychopath, it is nice.

Get high

Bring a wicked strong joint and pass it around your friend group.  Where should you blow the smoke? Anywhere you want! You don’t have to worry about setting off any smoke alarms so if you want to blow it into the face of the group of people standing right behind you go right ahead!


We are at a school full of white people, and none of us can dance so go right ahead! Also 2:30 is a great time to drop it low and twerk. Now people can finally see how great your form is in the light of day.


Is there anything worse than carrying an empty can for 20 minutes? Yeah those cans aren’t biodegradable but our planet is used to tough love so it’s fine.

Screen Shot 2016-03-30 at 3.00.52 PMI hope to see all you savages at the next day drink. You can find me blackout in a lawn chair.

UMass Amherst national-us