How to still go hard while not killing the environment

Neither you nor global warming are cool

While wandering around campus it is appalling how wasteful so many of the UMass students are. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a nature freak but it literally makes my stomach turn to see people leave their room with their lights off or use a plastic bottle only once.

There are a few simple things like that to help conserve energy and make our campus green.

Shut off the lights

It’s a Saturday night and the “cute” boy you met at the party isn’t looking as cute while in direct light? Shut the lights off! The planet and your self-esteem will thank you.


If you turn up your brightness and tilt your screen you can just barely see me freaking out

Use less plastic bottles

Plastic bottles are SO bad for the environment, especially when you use them one time and then toss them.  What’s even worse for the environment? Taking your plastic bottle of Rubinoff and transferring it into ANOTHER plastic water bottle. Stop being a fucking pussy and drink your vodka straight without a chaser or a mixer.

The planet should not have to suffer for you being a weak ass bitch.


Or use actual glasses you can clean

Shut off your electronics

Personal computers account for approximately 1.5 percent of all energy consumption on campus. One computer left on 24 hours a day costs up to $115 and dumps up to 1,500 pounds of carbon dioxide into the air annually.

So turn your computer and phone off at night.  You’re not missing much and that 2am text you get right when you’re about to pass out does NOT need to be answered. Trust me on this one, you’ll thank me in the morning when you wake up in your own bed  with no regrets.

Don’t use the dryers

The dryers on campus are a waste. Every single time I try and use them my clothes still come out wet 75 minutes later. Also, dryers use a lot of energy. So when you wash your sheets hang them up in your room, pilgrim style.  Yes, this will take a long time to dry but you can just hit up your twilight delights for a bed.

75 minutes later and you still suck

75 minutes later and you still suck

Turn off your fans

Personally my bed faces the window so when I am lounging I get a nice breeze. This is a much better alternative to a fan. Also an added bonus is that you can hear what’s going on around you. The gossip is unparalleled. However do keep in mind, if you can hear them they can hear you and I once got a phone call from someone telling me they could hear me talking since my window was open.

Make your showers efficient

A shower uses 1.6 gallons of water per minute. That’s a lot of water wasted, especially when you wait for it to heat up for like four minutes before even daring to move past the curtain. But if you’re feeling a long shower make it as effective as possible: drink some of the water, pregame, brush your teeth, pee, have sex! If you’re gonna waste water at least make it worth your while. (But seriously please don’t pee in the shower, that really grosses me out.)


So Minutemen please stop wasting so much of our energy.  You can still be hardcore and not be a dick to mother nature.

UMass Amherst