How to know if you’re truly an Isenbro or Isenhoe

You can recite ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ from memory

Congratulations!  You’ve been accepted into the Isenberg School of Management. You’re probably fresh out of high school, because it is nearly impossible to be accepted once you’re at UMass.

But at what point do you go from being a measly freshman to a flaming Isenbro?

Here are some of the identifiable factors to tell if you really are an Isenbro or Isenhoe.

You have seen ‘Wolf of Wall Street’

Then you immediately thought: I want to be him. You said ‘I can do that!’ and shotgunned that beer in your freshman bathroom.

This movie is a prerequisite for Econ 103, and you should probably add ‘can recite every scene from this movie’ on your resume.

You brought a mixed drink to your classes at least once

Let’s be honest, a lot of the Isenberg classes are very easy.  Come on, last semester I forgot to do a final in one of my classes and I still got an A.

And a lot of the classes are late, so why not? Bonus if that class was transitions.

You have ever though Dean Fuller was a Silver Fox

This can’t be just me, right?! Why else would anybody go to the Dean’s lectures.

Me paying EXTREMELY close attention to everything Dean Fuller is saying

You absolutely hate the word ‘networking’

If I hear one more professor explain to me the importance of networking, I may just drop out.  I get that it’s important, but it just sounds so shallow. Regardless, I still love you Dean Fuller!

How you feel after leaving a Deans Lecture

You walk into a party and half of your econ class is there

Networking in a nutshell, am I right?! But seriously, it seems like the only majors with enough free time to go out three times a week are in Isenberg.

When this is your schedule, you can afford to go out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday

When you see a hookup from the weekend in one of your discussions

You think your hookup was a random boy at a party, right? Then you roll out of bed for your 9am discussion and see his face once again.  You pretend not to know them and sit as far away as possible, or you spend the whole class staring at him and try to decide if it’s him. You then proceed to cross examine your Moodle page for his name.

How you wish you could sit during this discussion

You stroll up to a business casual or business professional event underdressed

My bad that JCrew leggings and high boots were inappropriate for a career fair.  But in my defense, no recruiters even paid attention to me once I said I was a sophomore so #swerve.

Napping on the way to a business meeting #Isenhoes

You hear a science or engineering major complain about work and think LOL

Your engineering friends complain about how hard their exam was, and you’re thinking ‘oh, that’s what college is like’. But know that you will be making just as much as them after you graduate if you play your cards right.

You roll up to a huge lecture with at least four iClickers

Because what are Isenfriends for?

UMass Amherst