The definitive ranking of Amherst bars

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If you’re 21+ (or have a really good fake ID) chances are you will find yourself at one of these ten bars at some point during the weekend

As a second semester senior at UMass, I have become pretty familiar with the bar scene. Here is my definitive ranking of the top 10 bars you will find in Amherst.

10. The Spoke

The Spoke is a forgotten bar on the strip of Amherst Center and a top destination for townies. To be honest, it’s hard for me to think of what the ‘big draw’ is for The Spoke.

Drinks are relatively cheap, I guess? It’s cash only (c’mon, Spoke. Keep up with the times). If you end up here, it’s probably because every other bar has a ridiculously long line.

9. The Harp

The Harp is the closest thing Amherst has to “Paddy’s Pub” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This Irish pub is relatively small and tends to be full of locals. It’s not exactly a spot you’ll plan to find yourself on a Friday or Saturday night, but it holds classic events during the week like karaoke and trivia.

If you’re looking for a low-key night with a couple of friends, The Harp isn’t the worst choice.

8. High Horse

High Horse definitely fits the ‘earthy, crunchy, hipster’ vibe that Amherst tends to give off. It’s one of Amherst’s newest bars since it officially opened only four years ago. If you’re trying to stay away from the loud bar scene, this is a good alternative. High Horse generally calls for a chill night with handcrafted beers (that are a little more expensive) and music you’ll probably add to your Spotify.

7. Stackers

Stackers’ claim to fame is Tuesday night karaoke. Luckily the tunes are loud enough that you can’t hear people singing – or are too drunk to tell when your friend isn’t exactly Adele rollin’ in the deep.

Karaoke at Stackers brings nostalgia to your ears as you listen to great songs from yesteryear. . . However, this is pretty much the only appeal to Stackers. Otherwise it’s pretty crowded. You have to traverse a land of blood, sweaty bodies and tears to get inside the bar and order your three-dollar PBR.

6. McMurphy’s

Let’s be real, McMurphy’s is one of your “last resort” bars.  I view it as a great transitional destination where you start the night at this tavern while waiting for the lines at Monkey Bar or Lit to calm down.

This place is on the smaller side, but that kind of creates a communal, camaraderie atmosphere. You’ll come here with a group of friends without much anticipation but realize at the end of the night while you bite into your Antonio’s slice that you got #LIT. Speaking of:

5. Lit

If you’re looking for a big club atmosphere, Lit is definitely your best bet. Here is where you’ll find loud music, flashy lights and a whole lot of dancing. It’s one of the few bars in Amherst with a cover charge, but it can be worth it.

You definitely have to be in a specific mood for Lit, since it’s not the place to order a casual beer. Chances are you’ll leave at 1am exhausted from crushing the dance floor and your bank account will hate you. However, Lit hosts half hour to even hour-long open bars, which is dangerous to say the least. Take advantage of these nights.

4. OTT

I think of the Old Towne Tavern as the Pub’s not-so-cool little brother. He tries really hard to be like his big bro but just can’t hang. The Friday afternoon buffet is a solid pregame spot to get some FREE food in your belly before a night of heavy drinking.

It’s not too packed, so you’re actually able to move around and even play a game of pool if you want to. Attendees also operate the music, which is a nice perk.

3. Monkey

Monkey Bar is kind of like Lit, but not as extravagant. Upon entry, the bar is pretty average and a good opportunity to get your first couple drinks. As you make your way to the back, you walk into a realm of debauchery. Lots of dancing, energetic music, snap chat stories being recorded with the flash on and a list of mixed drinks you probably have never heard of before.

It’s a place where the lights come on at last call, you’ll think ‘yikes, what just happened?’

And best of all, Monkey refuses the stigma of bar bathrooms being disgusting. Tremendous facilities – thank you, bar Gods.

2. The Hangar

The Hangar is without a doubt the best bar to watch a game in Amherst. TV’s everywhere, including a game room with a massive projector screen. This room also includes pool tables, dartboards, and even corn hole. I know, we’re in the BIG LEAGUE guys.

Their newest beer wall serves a number of traditional, hand crafted and house beers. The Hangar isn’t a weekend night bar, but it’s a hangout you’ll visit on a Sunday afternoon.

1. The Pub

The Pub provides the best of both worlds. There is a $5 cover for most of the night, but it’s worth every penny. One side is a bar with tables as well as pool tables, which allows for hanging out and talking to your friends. The other side has a dance floor to give you the club vibe. It’s like Monkey meets High Horse, but you don’t have to decide on only one place to drink.

The music is always good, it’s not a nightmare trying to get a drink, and it tailors to whatever mood you may be in. Club Pub Thursday’s reign supreme.

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