The family Thanksgiving drinking game

When the holidays come around and you’re surrounded by family, you can bet you’re going to get bombarded with questions. And what better way to get through the holidays than to make them more memorable by barely remembering them?

Too bad there’s no UPub at home.

Luckily for you, The Tab has come up with a new drinking game that is 99 percent guaranteed to help you take the edge off. The rules of the game are simple: when someone asks you a certain question about yourself, preferably one you hate hearing, drink.

Here is a cheat-sheet for every questions your annoying aunt, nit-picky-mother, over achieving cousins, and old-fashioned uncle, will ask on Thursday, so don’t worry!

Siblings are the only way we’re getting out alive.

To start you off easy:

How’s adjusting to college?

Usually this is the aunt or uncle that you talk to only a few times a year and forget which school you go to, so take a sip of wine and give them a smile.

One down, many more to go.

How are classes going?

Classes? They’re going great…Take a couple sips of wine and don’t get into too much detail about the grades you’ve gotten. Just remember to reassure your parents that you’ll be able to graduate.

Classes not going so great? Excuse yourself to the bathroom and take a shot of tequila before you return. Head back to the table and start talking about the dog that your TA brings to class even if you’re not in that class, just avoid talking about grades AT ALL COST!

Know that you aren’t going to graduate? Just skip the shot glass and drink the entire bottle of tequila and let the booze do the talking.

Mid-level questions:

Meet anyone special?

Or

How are you and your significant other getting along?

Single? Take a hearty sip, don’t worry – someone will come along if you’re single.

In a committed relationship? Say everything is good, and try to quickly change the topic to your cousin’s new life accomplishment before your mom starts talking about how your cousin is getting married, and grandma starts telling you that you have a “ticking clock” when it comes to grand kids.

How are you and your roommate getting along?

Getting along with your roommate? Crack a beer in their honor because you know they’re doing the same for you.

Haven’t talk them in days or hate their guts? Take a nice gulp of the good stuff you know your dad has under the cabinet and tell them to f*** off in your head.

Or depending on how much you’ve had at this point, scream it across the table, you won’t remember it in the morning anyway.

Thanksgiving dinner: UMass style.

Now on to the heavy hitters:

So what are you going to do after college?

We know whatever you say is a lie, because you actually have no idea and have barely started any sort of job search, so start chugging whatever is in front of you. College is forever right?

What do you want to do with your major?

Can also include: what type of job do you think that you can get with that major?

Grab a bottle of wine and don’t stop till the bottle is empty.

Other questions that are acceptable to drink for include:

Do you have a job?

What are your plans for the winter break?

Summer break?

Any possible internships?

So Happy Thanksgiving and may the odds be ever in your favor!