How to tell if you’re a Central hipster

Hipsters will never admit they are hipsters

Walk around the residential area of Central at UMass and you will find throngs of young adults in Birkenstocks, Patagonia fleece jackets and if you are lucky, overalls.

They claim to be avid supporters of Bernie Sanders and ending climate change.

Why is it that all these like minded individuals seem to flock to Central?

It may be the same reason all the vodka drinkers and jocks live in Southwest or why all the physics addicts and anti-social people live in Northeast.

Orchard Hill residents are wannabe Central dwellers and no one really knows what goes on in Sylvan – basically just exiled transfers.

Now I probably sound very harsh, but I’m just saying what everyone is thinking. That’s the problem with America today…everyone wants to sugar coat everything. Especially in Central.

Me: “Hey can I take your picture for my hipster article?”
Nicky: “Wait, you think I’m a hipster?”

Hipsters will never admit they are hipsters. Please notice the colorful button-up, man bun, nose ring and glasses.

You better be politically correct or you are gonna have no friends. Be careful what you say, love cows, be a Democrat (or a Socialist) and please be open to the idea of socks with your Birkenstocks.

I will admit, I am guilty of possessing some of the characteristics of a hipster. I live in Central, love black and white photographs, listen to Lana Del Rey and my white Chuck Taylors are my favorite shoes. I also like the clearance section at Urban Outfitters or looking at record album art as much as the next guy.

Don’t get me wrong, I love UMass and all the segregated living areas. I have wonderful hipster or hipster-esque friends and love to eat at Frank. So please don’t give me a speech on political correctness, I’m just trying to add some humor to your life and distract you from studying.

So keep rocking your Chucks, listening to Indie Rock and scrolling through Tumblr.

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