Here’s what Coach Whipple could buy with his 2015 salary

The NAACF has released the salaries of college football coaches, and UMass coach Mark Whipple is pretty low on the list.

Poor coach Whipple’s salary caps at a measly $450,000 a year, barely enough to buy a Rolls Royce Phantom. This is chump change compared to Alabama’s Nick Saban, who could obtain his own fleet of Phantoms and still have millions left over from his $7 million yearly payout.

So, what could the practically impoverished Minuteman coach buy with his yearly salary?

This tiny cottage in Indianapolis, IN

$450,000

Coach Whipple could pick up this inadequate shack for almost half a million and have nothing left over to pay someone to mow his few acres.

This Lamborghini Aventador

$397,500

Can you imagine coach Whipple pulling up to a coaches conference in this  decidedly drab Lambo? Ohio State coach Urban Meyer could pay to have himself carried to McGuirk Alumni Stadium, but our pauper coach has to cruise up in the Aventador, which for just a few thousand more a year he could get in UMass maroon.

Send 10 students to UMass

Coach Whipple could send 10 out-of-state students to UMass Amherst for one year, according to the price estimate here. However, if he wanted to cover, say, solely my tuition for the full four years, it would run him something like $336,056. So, technically Coach Whipple could send about one out of state student to school for four years using just his yearly salary and have enough left over to live comfortably in, say, Vermont, like my working-class parents are trying to do while graciously sending me to college.

David Andrews, undrafted center for the New England Patriots

$440,000

For $440,000 of his $450,000 salary, Mark Whipple could have bought 2015 Patriots add-on David Andrews (#60) for the 2015 year. Andrews, at 6’3″ and 295 lbs, would have made an excellent addition to our team for the 2015 season. And with Andrews as an investment maybe, just maybe, we could win a real game this year.