If University of Delaware students went trick or treating

Because my GPA is scarier than any halloween movie

Halloween has changed drastically from elementary school to college, but one thing has stayed the same: we always have a good time. When we were young Halloween was about candy and getting our costumes to be as realistic as possible. As we’ve gotten older we’ve traded in our candy for natty’s and our realistic costumes for whatever has the shortest hemline. In the wake of growing up, we’ve left the most beloved and important Halloween tradition behind: Trick or treating!

So I propose that all University of Delaware students take on trick or treating once again, in an effort to bring a little joy to our day as we desperately try to detox our hangovers.

If the tradition lived on, here’s what UD students would be trick or treating for today:

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From our professors:

An A? An extension on a deadline? A little extra credit please??

The first stop on a UD’s students list would undoubtably be to office hours to try to just catch a break. At this point, it’s mid semester. Syllabus week is far behind us, and we’ve probably all realized that those “easy A” classes we signed up for are now being taught by a new professor who just takes life too seriously. So, please professors, throw an extra point or two into our trick or treat bag, would you?

From the nearby liquor stores:

The next stop would surely be to one of the many liquor stores that live around our campus. After Halloweekend and homecoming fell on the same weekend, our alcohol supplies are bound to be running low. So if they could kindly grace us with a two for one sale on Burnett’s, the UD students would be oh so grateful.

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From our parents:

Of course we couldn’t leave dear old Mom and Dad off this list, since they’re the ones who took us trick or treating for all those years in the first place! So we’ll surprise them with a blast from the past, us trick or treating with an old pillow case and a will to live once again. But this time, please spare our waistlines the candy, and instead grace our wallets with a crisp twenty (or two). Because by this time in the semester we’re about ready for a little cash (and maybe some left overs) from our loving parental units.

From our livers

We’re sorry. We are so so so sorry. On this Halloween we trick or treat to you for forgiveness for all our past abuse. We do value you, and your contribution to our health. So please little livers, forgive us.

That being said, we’ll be back asking for forgiveness once again next weekend.

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